What's Your Source?

I keep going through tests and trials. I'm convinced. I know that without a shadow of a doubt that what happened to me yesterday was a test that I failed.

I take the VRE (Virginia Railway Express) to work. Yesterday, I missed the 5:45am train. So, I caught the 6:15am train. I was extremely sleepy and a little loopy because I couldn't seem to go to sleep the night before. The train pulls up to my stop, and I clumsily stumble off the train. I took about ten steps and then realized that I had left my government I.D., my monthly VRE pass, and my metro card on the train. I need my I.D. to gain access to the building in which I work. I need my monthly $234.20 pass to get to and from work. I need my metro card to catch the metro train. So, I'm sure you understand my frustration when I realized I had left it. I turned to get back on the train. The door politely closed in my face. I then spotted one of the conductors getting on the train. I tried to reach her, but those doors closed and it pulled off before I could even let out a yell.

Standing amidst the crowd of employees rushing to make it to work, I stood there dumbfounded. I immediately began to cry. I managed to pull together enough sense to call the VRE office. I reported my items. I then sat on the steps and cried.... and cried... and cried. I tried calling my boyfriend. He couldn't answer because he was on the metrotrain with no service. So, I sat there and cried some more. By the time I got up, I was frustrated, confused, and pissed! This was the icing on top of a cake that's been baking the entire month of August.


When I got to work, I was a mess. I was miserable the ENTIRE day; just in a funk.

This morning, I decided to take the 6:15am train again to ask the conductor if anyone had turned in my items. She looked at me and said my name. Yes! That's me. She turned my things into lost and found. Turns out they're at the VRE office.

Now, what I was SUPPOSED to do was PRAY and trust that God would handle the situation and have my items returned to me. Instead I cried, freaked out, had a temper tantrum, and refused to pray. I used my own strength.

Last night before bed, I got down on my knees and prayed. I asked God to return my items to me (amongst other things). So, when I asked the train conductor this morning, of course she had found it. Who knows, had I prayed the night before last when I couldn't sleep or simply prayed instead of crying tears of frustration, I could've opened my ears to hear what God had to say about the situation. Maybe he would've told me to catch the same train that afternoon.

Praying is the portal by which we communicate with God. It opens up our spiritual ears and unclogs our natural ones so that we are fully receptive to what God has to say to us. You can can claim to be the most "spiritual" person in the world. But without prayer, we're dead. There is no power being downloaded.

Our spiritual lives are like a lamp. We are the lamp. In order to function properly, we must be plugged into a power source. When we're plugged in and switched on, the electricity that is needed to make our light shine runs into us.  It shines brightly and illuminates the darkness around us. When we pray, we connect to our power source. We allow God to infuse us with his Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16), which is wisdom and power. This power allows us to operate like Christ because He is in us (Philippians 2:5, John 15:5). Then, and only then, can our light shine.

I know that I missed the mark this time around. However, it still worked out for my good because I learned. I'm going to apply what I've learned from all of this to other areas in my life and pass the next test that comes around. =)