But You Don't Know My Name

My last two posts were kind of serious. Blah. I'm feeling a bit light hearted today.

Last night I'm sitting in church, soaking up what my pastors are teaching us. Everything is going well. Pastor does altar call. We're praying and praising God.

And then it happens.

He appears right before my eyes.

I kid you not, my heart skipped about three beats, my hands got sweaty, and I felt all hot and bothered.

I say to myself, "Satan, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!" lol! I know the women standing on either side of me thought I was crazy. But the feeling wouldn't go away.

Pastor's words went from, "And we thank God for these souls who have decided" to "wamp wamp wamp, wamp wamp, wamp wamp wamp...."

I began praying out loud- "God please! Help me! I don't want to feel like this!"

It was horrible!

Now some background info.

I was sitting in church one Sunday when I spotted him. It was his first time there. I know because when we welcomed the first time visitors, he raised his hand to receive a guest package.
I then saw him about two weeks later. I was sitting with my friend. I was trying to point him out to her. And as I'm staring and smiling dreamily, he turns and looks dead at us.

CAUGHT! Ugh... I felt so ashamed. I don't want this guy to think that I come to church to man hunt. That's NOT the case. For some reason, I'm just really attracted to him.

And see, the thing about me is that I'm extremely picky. I'm not tooting my own horn. I'm just telling the facts. I've had two very nice men at the church ask me out within the past week. And its so annoying because I'm not interested.

But back to last night...

So, after benediction, I'm standing around talking to one of my guy friends and one of the guys i mentioned above. The whole time that the two of them are talking to me, I'm looking past them, trying to find out where cutie went.

I lost him.

So, guy mentioned above proceeds to walk me out of the church and declare his like for me.

Frustration.

I agree to go out to lunch with him after service some time in the future.

So, I get to my car, get inside, put the key in the ignition and drive off. As soon as I'm off of church grounds, I go at it.

"WHHYYY?!?!?!??!!??!?! Why Lord???? I know that I should trust you. I know that you got me! But why is everyone that I'm NOT interested in want to talk to me???"

This goes on for about a good seven minutes. I then come to my senses and realize that God is God. And that ultimately He is in control. I trust Him with my life. So, if its meant to be- it's going to be. If cutie wants to get to know me, he will make it known. He has to know that I'm curious. I've made a conscious effort to make eye contact with him twice. And the second time he was sitting ACROSS the sanctuary from me.

So, I'm letting it go and I'm letting God.

Geez.... Another thing keeping me from not approaching this guy is my track record. I seem to have bad "good guy" radar. So, I'm going to leave this one to my God.