The Real Thing: Track 14.

He adores everything about me
From the naps on my head to the lisp in my talk
From the mole above my ear to the chipped polish on my toes
He adores me
I am his queen
He whispers in my ear how beautiful I am to him
And how he wants no one else
He holds me close
So close that our hearts beat in time
I look up at him
And without hesitancy, without any expectations
I tell him I love him
He smiles
And holds me even closer

I adore everything about him
From the gap in his teeth to the freckles on his face
From the way that he walks to the pucker of that top lip
I adore him
He is my king
I walk up behind him and embrace his strong back
I squeeze him tight and he squeezes me back
I tell him how I’m so blessed to have him in my life
And that I’ll love him even through the strife
He turns around and kisses me
A kiss that isn’t about sex
A kiss that isn’t about lust
A kiss full of emotion
Love

Tears fall from my eyes
I look up at him

And then…..

I wake up.

Speak Life

I just wrote two whole blog posts and did not publish them because they were full of complaints and things that I don't understand. But that's what I do! I write about the complexities of my life. But God has been pushing me to speak life into my situations. So, in this post, I'm going to speak life into all of the areas that have me feeling a bit dejected.

I will get a job that is fulfilling to me. I will look forward to going to work. I will learn and excel. I will make enough money to pay all of my bills (on time) and still have more than enough left over to do simple things like: eat, fill my car up, get oil changes, give abundantly to the church, buy those cute shoes that I've had my eye on, and pick up nice things for my boyfriend.

I will be a wonderful girlfriend and he will be a loving boyfriend. We will learn one another's quirks and learn to agree to disagree. He will not be churlish when we have arguments and I will watch the words that come out of my mouth. Our relationship won't feel rushed. We will take this thing day by day and not expect us to be something that we're not. We are us. And us is what makes this thing unique. He will love me for me and not expect me to be what I'm not. And I will do the same in return.

My relationship with the Lord will grow. I will talk to Him and because of my faithfulness and obedience to Him, he will speak so clearly to me that my ears will hear Him every single time. I will go to Him with everything. My life will be a worship to Him. And He in turn will be pleased with me and eager to fill all of the longing within me.

I will figure out what it is that I want to do and I will act on it. I will not continue to follow all of these dreams only to have the door slammed in my face. And if it is, I will have the wisdom to know which ones to walk away from and which to climb through the window for.

I will express myself. Every single message and feeling that I want to convey will flow out of me like rain from the heavens. I won't stumble for the right words to say. I won't be ashamed or scared of what he/she may think. I will get me back. I will be "confident, I don't give a darn" me again.

Get Down Girl, Gone 'head!

I've been taking these long pauses in between posts. I was in a funk. I don't want to dwell on it because I am out of it now. I've been delivered! The hard part is staying that way. It's so easy for us to walk back into something after God has redirected our paths and moved the junk. It's like we're attracted to the madness. God knows what's best and says, "No." But we say, "please! yes!" We're like toddlers. You can tell them to stop touching something until you're blue in the face. They will continue to go after what they want until it hurts them or you hurt them first. So, I'm not going to go back. And I know it's not going to be a piece of cake. I have to continually- like every morning- renew my mind. Pray without ceasing, even when I don't feel like it.

I have some awesome news!! Mystery has named me an "Honest Blogger"!! Whoo hoo! Thanks love!!! That really touches me because I really do put myself out on a limb in this here cyber space. If you were to ever take a gander at my posts from the past, you will see all of the ups and downs, heartaches, joy, and pains that I've gone through. And I'm so glad that my pain can be used to help someone else. So thank you, Mystery.

I'm supposed to nominate 7 other blogs that I think are worthy of this award. Click the link to check them out:

Muze:: I love this girl. I promise you, it's like I know her. She is transparent when she writes. Everything about her is beautiful.
Myowne:: She is as honest as it gets. The way she expresses herself, so clearly and effortlessly, draws me in every time. I love her spirit, the fact that she is a woman of God, trying to live this life the right way.
Talulazoeapple:: She always has interesting posts about everything from movies to men to politics to God. And she gives some good advice. =)
Coffee Rhetoric:: She is real and isn't afraid to say what the deal is. I love reading her posts. They're engaging and funny too.
Mystery:: She is very inspirational. And I can feel what she's going through. When she writes about love and being... well, go read it for yourself. ;)
Don:: This guy is something talented. His poetry is awesome. And his posts are always thought provoking. I miss you Don. Where the heck are you?!?
UrbanCurlz:: I read her daily. She is my hair/fashion/everything else dose for the day! I love reading it!!! My roomie and I come home and share tips that we learned only to find out that we both got them from UrbanCurlz. =)
Eb the Celeb:: OK. So this makes 8. Well, I love her too. She says all the things that I want to say. =)

Ok, next I must list (if I can and or dare) at least ten honest things about myself. Soooo here they are:

1. I LOVE kit kat bars. And I like them to be nice and melted so that the chocolate just rolls off of the scrumptious wafer. So, I'll stick it in my back pocket or sit on it before I eat it. ;)
2. I hate failure, which causes hindrances in other areas of my life.
3. I'm self-conscious and conceited all at the same time. lol! What a combination...
4. I'm no where near where I want to be in my relationship with God. But I'm so glad that He hasn't given up on me. Everyday He lets me know that He loves me.
5. I secretly want to get off of one my ministries at church. I know. I know.....
6. I'm defiant when it comes to dealing with authority that isn't job related or family. You do the math....
7. I love my hair! =)