Continuation

To ease the pain she went to see an old flame
The incident reminded her all too well of her past
Lies, deceit, and rejection
all in her face

Feeling empty inside and no place to hide
she picked up her phone and dialed his home.
"You've reached the voicemail box of...."
Dang.

So she called a friend. In the middle of her ranting
those familiar 10 digits pop up on her phone.
Frantic.
She immediately answers.

Within two seconds, she's telling him that she wants to see him.
She turns her car around and makes her way
back to the Bridge.
It's 11:45 at night. But who cares.
The thought of being alone right now scares her.
Being left alone with all of those emotions sends chills through her body.
She makes it to his place.
They talk. They laugh. They reminisce. They kiss.
All night long.
No time for sleep.
She gets home just in time to jump in the shower and start a new day.
No one will ever know the pain she feels inside:
The war that is going on within her.
She paints on her happy face, walks out the door, and cries on the way to work.
But the tears shed will never be seen by those close to her.
They will never know the pain that she feels inside.
They will never know the burden that she hides.
They will never understand the root of her problem.
Of a girl who is crying out for help.
Who is crying out to feel loved.
Who is crying out for someone to understand
and not judge her.

There's much to do.

So she'll tuck this incident in the back of her mind,
never to be revisited again
She'll keep pushing forward and repent of her sins
Until something happens and reminds her of then.
But there wont be a next time because she is through
Tired of being hurt and mistreated
Tired of reinventing herself
Being brand new

She'll take this as a lesson learned.
"The root of the problem" a loved one once said.
So maybe now she can go on with her life
No more pretending
No more hiding

What happened in her past was no small thing
She's left to put the pieces back together
The fragments of her being that he shattered.
These fragments that find themselves reappearing in her life

She doesn't want to face the pain.
But she knows that its the only way to get over.
To heal.

Disclaimer

Today has been blah. I'm once again frustrated with my job. But of course I can't complain because all I have to do is find another one. Easier said than done. I don't want to work all the way in D.C. I want something closer. And out here, most of the decent jobs are in the D.C. area. Boo that. Maybe I'll just take my behind back to AL. Once again I'm running away from my problems. So, what's new?

I wrote a poem this morning. It's just a poem. It's embellished. It's supposed to evoke emotions and questions in you when you read it. If it does that, then I've done my job. About 99.96% of the time, the poems have something to do with me or people in my life. But I do add more to make it juicier. And sometimes they're not about me at all. Sometimes, I write based on things that I've observed but don't want to tell. Or its my take on a situation.

But please don't judge me based on my writing. :)

I'm going to go pray now.

-NR

False Start

How could a relationship conceived from betrayal
birth truth?
How can something done in the dark sustain itself
in the light?
How can blessings be poured upon a lie?

She tried to do things her way
Only to see it crumble in her face
Secret rendezvous
Smiles when no one is looking
Late night texts
All day emails

She was quick to put out
And even though sex wasn't involved
this time
The result is still the same

Quick to put out
her time
her trust
her thoughts
her heart

Now it seems that the same has been done
to her
She can't be upset
She can't be mad
You reap what you sew

This relationship conceived from betrayal
birthed a world of pain and confusion
for herself only.