Death. Questions. Please, no answers....

I've never been happier to NOT be in TUSCALOOSA, AL than I am now. There is just too much going on down there. Barely a month ago, we lost Nikki. I wake up Saturday afternoon, turn on my phone, and receive a text that says, "Life is SO precious... Montre' Walker passed this morning." WTF?!? I immediately call my friend to find out what the hell was going on. He was shot, by accident. I'm so tired of hearing bad news come out of that place. And he was such a kind hearted person. Everyone is in shambles. I couldn't bear to be around it all. I don't even want to go on the LameBook. Everyone has his picture up. It's so damn sad. I'm tired of being sad. I wanna be happy. I will pray for his family and those truly grieving over him. I sound selfish, I know, but I'm glad that I didn't know him that well. I couldn't bear it. My heart goes out to all of you who were close to him or were touched by him in one way or another.....

Every time something like this happens, I'm always reminded of how truly blessed me and my friends are. We do DUMB shit all the time!! And I say this because, as the story goes, Montre' was with some frat and I guess they were doing something with guns. I don't know how, but the gun went off and he was killed.

I can count 2 occasions where a certain person (who was in my life at the time) would point his rifle at me, in a playful manner. Accidents happen. I've driven drunk. I've walked around outside with my friends intoxicated, high, you name it. Yeah, we were off the chain. And I'm not proud of it. Only by God's grace did we not end up in jail, kidnapped, or in a ditch some where. *sigh* I don't want to dwell on it. We're still here. And I thank God for that. I don't understand death. I don't understand everything that God does. And I'm not going to try to figure it out. It's too much for my psyche to grasp. I'm not going to ask why I'm still here and Nikki, Leisha, and Montre aren't. That goes into something that is far beyond me. We're all so young. We have so much more living to do. *sigh* I can't write anymore.....