My Thoughts

It's been one week since I felt like grabbing a chair and throwing it through the window. Tomorrow will be one week since I, for the first time in my life, decided to walk away from confusion. That decision was so out of character for me because I am a fighter to the end. But God is not the author of confusion. I want what is best for me and him. (believe it or not) It is hard though. I'm not going to lie. You put yourself in a position that allows your mind to believe that, hey- this could be it. And when it doesn't go as planned, it's hard to accept. Who wants things to not work out? Who wants to argue? Who wants to feel emotionally drained? I've never experienced anything like that. Even in my three year relationship, the madness that I felt in that one week of our couple months of dating was never felt.

But I have learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself. I know where I am mentally and spiritually. I see my flaws and I know the things that I need to work on to make whatever relationship comes my way work. I see where I stand as far as my relationship with God is concerned. That needs work also. I don't know what God has in store for me. But I do know that He wants his people to be blessed and full of joy. He wants our relationships to work out. He doesn't want confusion and anger. That is what the enemy wants for us.

I have, however, made a deeper bond with someone whom I only said hi and bye to. It's funny how God works. We ended up going out to eat after church on Sunday and we really bonded. She helped me and I in turn helped her. She is a beautiful person and she made me see things from a different point of view. My soul sister. =) And I hope that our relationship continues to grow.

As for me and him, we're still friends. I do miss being around him. It's crazy how we can email one another all day and then cut it off at 4pm. But if that's how we want our friendship to be, then that's how it will be.

I have no clue what the point of this post is. Why am I going back and forth? Why am I feeling like a 5 year relationship ended??? And I know you are going to read this. I guess I just need to write. Writing and crying out to God keeps me sane.

My biggest thing was, "what if I made a mistake?!?!?" But I can't dwell on that. It was literally driving me crazy. So I would dwell on it and dwell on it to the point where it was starting to become a stronghold. I've laid the situation at the altar. I've given it over to God (many times..lol!) and that is where it has to stay. I can't keep questioning myself. I can't keep going back and forth.

I know what I want and what I don't want in a relationship. Arguing and bickering is something I DO NOT want. We couldn't stop doing that. And there is nothing wrong with walking away from situations that are more than you can handle.

Now, lemme say this. I will fight for my man!!! But I've learned that the only man that I need to fight that hard over is my husband. Once those vows are made before God, that covenant is not to be broken. And I will fight to make it work. But see, when you're dating, you can't stress yourself out over someone who isn't even your husband/wife. Think about all of the people you stressed yourself out over. All of that stressing didn't make things work.

I'm just talking to myself- writing out all of my thoughts and the things that I've learned.

My grandmother told me to let nothing steal my joy. And it made me think about the fact that the devil knows no new tricks. So, I looked back at all of the times that I was stressed out, confused, depressed, and hurt. They all involved a man.

It's not about him (the guy I was dating). The Bible (Ephesians 6:12) says,

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against
powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual
wickedness in high places.

I'm going to cut this short because I'm about to go into another realm that a lot of people don't understand. And I don't feel like explaining.

I just know that God has me where He wants me. He has my life. His will is going to be done. I can't make a man want me. I can't make myself want a man. I'm going to continue to seek God, live my life for Him, and let Him bless me. No more trying to strategically work things out so that my will is done. I've done that all my life and its caused me nothing but hell.

Sorry this post was so long..... Just my thoughts though.

Simply Beautiful

Ever have one of those days when you simply feel beautiful? Yeah, today is that day for me. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. My hair is in the same ol' wash and go thrown in a puff with a headband. I have on a button up shirt and one of my same ol' skirts. My eyebrows aren't even done!! But I feel "simply beautiful." =) It's kinda like when you're chilling with your man and your hair is messy, you're in some old sweats and a t-shirt, and he looks at you and tells you how beautiful you are to him in that moment. =D That's how I feel right now. Perhaps it's God's love that I'm feeling. He's telling me that he thinks I'm simply beautiful.....

Someone who thought I was simply beautiful put me on to this song. I can't really listen to it because it makes my stomach turn. Not because he put me on to the song, but because of the way things turned out. I do that with friends too. Everyone has a song(s) that remind me of them. And if something goes wrong, it takes me a while to be able to listen to the song without going over the deep end in thought; wanting to pick up the phone and beg for rapprochement...

With that said, I give you "Simply Beautiful" by Mr. Al Green

It's Not Fair

It's not fair.
With the click of a mouse
You can see into my mind.

This page holds my thoughts.
Its my own diary.
I've never shied away from
sharing myself.

You never know what someone
else is going through.
So I continued to share my stories,
encouraged by the
comments of women and men
who were going through
the same thing.

But its not fair.
With the click of a mouse
You can know my thoughts.

I have no idea whats going on
in your world.

Do you still think about me?
Do you hate me?
Do I still care?
Am I being true to myself?

All of the questions
above
I want to express
right here, right now.

But I can't.
And I wont.

Because

It's not fair.

Michelle Obama

I MISSED MICHELLE OBAMA LAST NIGHT!!!!

Hopefully its on Youtube??????

I'm A Work in Progress...

I don't understand why the events that have occurred in my life happened. Right now, I don't understand how something that two people mutually wanted to work not work. Did I give up too soon? But things went sour before there was even an "us".

As I pray, worship, and read my Bible, I see now that God is telling me to simply trust Him. I keep coming across Psalms that talk about the security of the godly. I've been asking God if I made the right choice. I've been asking God for His will to be done. And I really believe that He is telling me to trust Him. Don't fret. I am God. God has me where he wants me. I am in complete surrender to Him because no one else can help me. No one has the answers. I don't have the answer. My friends don't have the answers. Only God. So, I'm going to continue to seek Him, praise Him, worship Him, and read His word.

I see now that I got side tracked. I'm not saying that God is the reason that things went haywire, but I do know that God is a jealous God. And when He gets replaced by other things, He can and will remove them.

I need to get to a place where no matter what, I make time for Him. He has to be first in my life. When everything crumbles in my face, I immediately run back to Him. So, why not just keep Him first??? It's so simple, yet so hard for me.

I want God to bless me and give me those things that He has promised me. But I know he can't do that if He doesn't trust me with them. God wants us to understand that all that we have is from Him. Everything that I have and will have is from the Lord.

In my relationships God will be number one. In my house, God will be number one.

God isn't done with me yet. I'm really a work in progress. I've seen the good, bad, and the ugly come out of me. The ugly shocked the heck outta me because I thought I had gotten through it. But since I've been living for God, I hadn't been tested. Boy, did the test come!!! And man did I flunk it! And I see now that I have a lot of crap in me. I have a temper. I don't listen. I get easily offended and immediately go into defense mode. I see the error in me now. Yes, I have some problems. But that's OK. The fact that God woke me up this morning lets me know that He isn't finished with me. And for that, I am truly thankful.

I'll Trust You

To avoid putting it all out there, I'll just write about the goodness of the Lord.

Last night, I opened my Bible, not knowing where to look or what to read. But I happened upon Psalm 91 and I just read it over and over again. Meditating on it. And I got so happy and so thankful that God will protect me. If I dwell in the secret place of the Most High, God will keep me safe. And its so funny because "I'll Trust You" by Richard Smallwood happens to be one of my favorite songs. And this song was taken from Psalm 91.

That has to be my favorite Psalm. No matter what, if I remain faithful and dwell with my Lord, I have nothing to worry about. I won't dread the terror by night. When I call on Him, he will answer me in my time of trouble. He will be there. There is no one on this earth, not mother, father, boyfriend, sister, or cousin that can do the same.

So, you know what? I will trust you God. I will dwell under your shadow. I won't dread the terror by night, for angels are all around me. So, I will not fear.

Hallelujah!!!!

Twilight

How does something so right
Turn ill
in a matter of days

I want to ask questions
Tell me if you still care
about me

But fear of your reaction
keeps me at bay

Mom tells me that we
pick and choose our battles:
Are you going to be able to deal with
the way he handle's things?

You are very head strong
Stubborn to say the least
And what matters the most
is getting your point across
Instead of focusing
on the important
facts

You told me you cared
You told me that your
future
could involve me
You opened the door to
your world

And now
How do you feel?
Has all of that been erased
And if so, how could any of it
have been real
if you're so quick to throw it away
over an incident that was never real?

Will the old you conquer?
Will you not care how
you do me?
Or will you pray for God
to help you get through this

I don't know

You say that you're done
Is it because you're tired of fighting
yet the feelings are still there?
Or is it because you want to move on
and continue on this journey

I'm not superwoman
I have feelings and emotions too
But if having certain feelings
causes this type of commotion
then I don't want to deal
with
you

It's Friday and I feel like grabbing a humongous tub of ice cream and chips, posting up in my bed, and watching movies and lifetime all day. I'm mentally drained.

This is so stupid...

ever feel like everything that you say makes things worse?
ever feel like you can't win for loosing?
ever feel like the situation that you're in is stupid and childish?
ever feel like grabbing the person in the situation by the neck, punching him/her in the face, and telling him/her to get the fcuk over it?
ever feel like screaming?
ever get so frustrated/angry/upset that you don't even want to pray about it?
ever have something end before it ever really started?
ever not realized how much you wanted things to work until it began to not work?
ever felt adrenaline run through your body while you're sitting at work and can't do anything about it?
ever not known what to do to make it right again?
ever wanted to cry, but couldn't?
ever realized that you prayed about this, that God is God, and that there is nothing that you can do about it but sit back and go for the ride?

God's will is perfect.

Hide Me

Hide me. Let me live behind You. Because I need shelter from the rain. Remind me the only way my faith can grow is when You let your winds blow. You're making me stronger now. So rain, don't go away.


"Hide Me"- Kirk Franklin

Photo Op!

To avoid writing and spilling out all of the emotions that are running through my ever, over active mind, I decided to post pics. Photo Op! My friends and I decided to put on a performance on the 4th of July. In the top pic, we performed "Weak" by SWV. In the bottom pic, we performed "I Get So Lonely" by Janet. Who says that young, Christian women can't have good wholesome fun??? =D

Gotta love it!

Breakout

I'm trying to contain the battle within me
If I don't breakout soon
I wont be able to contain it

There is a ball of frustration

anger
fear
confusion and
helplessness
brewing in me

I don't know how to express it
How do I exercise these feelings
in a
healthy way?

I understand you
I get it
But you have to move on

I'm taking steps to get over this bridge
You're standing there steadily
staring down at
the problem

Look up
Grab my hand and let me
lead you to the
other side of this
situation

Clarity
Calmness
Peace
Love
Happiness

Why won't you just look up?
Why are you staring at the problem?

I can't hold my hand out much longer

Give me something

Tell me more than how it
made
you feel

Let me know that you
want to get through this
that
you still care

What is there not to understand?
Take my hand
Trust me

Let's get
over this bridge

Inside My Love

I have a confession.......


I love Minnie Riperton's "Inside My Love"

It's the dreamy, love drunk music, her angelic voice, that 7 octave range, the funky 70s sound....

I love it.

Black Enough?

What makes one person "blacker" than the next? What does it mean to be black? Who started this nonsense about being black enough?

I read an article by Vanessa Grigoriadis entitled, "Black & Blacker". Hmmmm.... Which immediately made me think about Dumb & Dumber. One was dumb. The other one was more dumb. Michelle and Barack. One is black. The other one is more black than the other?

First of all, why is it an issue? The truth of the matter is that Barack is the Democratic nominee for the President of the United States of America. Barack happens to be a black man. But one would argue that, no, he isn't black because his mother is white. It's funny how people's ideologies will completely change to pacify themselves. If he hadn't have actually won the nomination, he would be just another black man- no matter if his mother was white or not- because his father was a black man. An African.

But back to the topic at hand......

Why would you even think to compare the "blackness" of Michelle and Barack. Michelle grew up in the south side of Chicago. Her father struggled to provide for them. And even through his disability, he went to work so that his children could have better lives. She struggled. Barack on the other hand was raised by his mom and grandparents. They lived in Hawaii. Smooth sailing. So, does this makes Michelle more black because she struggled? Is Michelle more black because she grew up in a strong black neighborhood?

Why can't black represent achievement, intelligence, wealth, goals, accomplishments. I'll use myself. I grew up in Alabama. My mom married when I was in elementary school. My step father is in the military, so we moved around a bit. I was exposed to different cultures. I don't really remember struggling. I articulate my words. I say "totally" and "OMG!" Does this make me less "black"? Had I remained in Montgomery, AL, with my mom working three jobs to support us, adapting the slang of the streets, conceiving a child before the age of 17, and not gone to college, would this weigh more on my "black" card? And I use all of that because statistically, those things should have happened to me.

It pains me to see the ignorance of this country. Everyday it is something new. And it's not limited to one racial group. We're all guilty of it in some shape, form, or fashion.

Some of the comments made in that article made me wriggle my noise and scrunch my forehead in utter disbelief and awe. For example:

“The fact that, as a successful black male, Barack did not choose a lighter-skinned woman, as most of them do, sends a message to me,” says a black female supporter at the Pontiac rally.

What kind of message does that send????? So, because Michelle is darker skinned, she is more black? This makes Barack a better man? What does skin tone have to do with anything?? Ignorance.

"See, Barack is the son of an African immigrant, which I like since I adopted me
a country years back, but he’s a Harvard grad, with a white mom and white
grandma.” The lady reaches onto the dash for her purse, and forks over the cash.
“Black as this guy is,” he tells her, “he’s whiter than you!’

Do all white people go to Harvard? What does that mean? Ignorance. Why is it so astounding that this man went to Harvard? Why is it so astounding that someone NOT WHITE can articulate words and form a complete sentence? Ignorance.

Call it what you want. But this nonsense about who is blacker is just that: nonsense. We have to stop it within our own conversations, communities, and culture.

Black doesn't equal poor. Black doesn't equal struggle. Black doesn't equal uneducated. Black doesn't equal unqualified. And until we get that, own that, and live it out, there will continue to be pointless articles written, ignorant comments made, and useless arguments over issues that should be a non-issue.

Safe in His Arms

When the storms of life are raging
And the billows roll
Im glad
He
shall hide me
Safe in His arms

Music Makes Me High

Who needs drugs when there is music?

When I hear a song, it automatically takes me back to where I was when I first heard the song- to who introduced me to the song- to who I was goo goo ga ga over- to who I hated with all my might. Music is powerful. I'm listening to music on Pandora. It's causing a plethora of reminiscent thoughts....

I didn't buy Cassie's album. Heck, I didn't even download it. But there is this one song: "Kiss Me". This guy I knew, Abbo, introduced this song to me. We were sitting in his room and he played the song. I immediately fell in love with it. Now that I sit and listen to it, it's not all that. It's no Earth, Wind, and Fire. No Marvin Gaye. Not even Jigga. But there is something about that song that I love. Could it be because of the state of mind that I was in when I first heard it? Nah, cuz clearly I don't feel that way anymore. But I still love that little song.

"The Way I Are" by Timbaland. I loved that song when I first heard it. I was in the car with my Kimmy when I heard it. However, the single's ministry at my church put on a production. And in the play, there was a club scene. That song was used. And now, every time I hear that dang song, I think about the play. Song ruined.

"Never Leave You...Uh Oh." by Lumide. Uh ohhhh! Uh ooohhhh! Uh ohhhh! Uh ooohhh!! That song takes me back to summer 2003. I was going into my junior year in college. That summer was filled with nothing but partying. Me and Nita lived together that summer. We would get up, go to class, go to work, come home, drink, party, and do it all over again the next day. I stayed out in the sun. My hair had been dyed three different colors. That was one heck of a summer. Thank God for deliverance. HALLELUJAH!!!

"More Than A Woman" by Aaliyah. Hmmm.. As much as I loved Aaliyah, this one brings no standout memories- just me in my dorm room trying to learn the dances in the video. RIP Lili!

"Yo (Excuse Me Miss)" by Chris Brown. This is the first song that I actually liked by Mr. Brown. This one takes me back to 2005. I was president of my sorority and we had a Presidential Retreat that I absolutely did not want to go on. Anywho, to make an extremely long story short, I had the greatest time. I bonded with members from other orgs that I otherwise would've never thought to try to make a connection with. But this is how the song comes into play: me, Eddie, Nikki (R.I.P. mamma), and a few others decided to walk to the nearest gas station to purchase some beer to sneak back into the lodge. The nearest gas station ended up being a 30 minute walk. On the way, we start singing the Chris Brown song and Eddie begins doing the little dance that Chris Brown did in the video. We had the best time. Only to find that when we got to the gas station, that bad boy was closed!!! On top of that, we were in a red neck town and the locals called the cops on us. I guess we looked suspicious, being a group of black kids. Two cop cars show up. They take our I.D.'s, question us, and once they realized that we weren't a threat, they drove us back to the lodge. Fun times....

OK. Pandora just played something that I've never heard before. So, that ends my reminiscing for today.

Ranting Friday

• I'd like to say that women are complex creatures and that you never know what will set us off. But at the risk of being labeled as stereotypical, I'll just say that I am a complex creature and you never know what will set me off. Stop and think before you open your mouth and say something that could strike a chord in me.
• I got bored last night and started snapping pics of my self. I think I could be America's Next Top Napptural Model. Holla at the kid!

................

• My Co-workers and my supervisor (all men) are playing Fantasy Football this year. They brought this huge "Fantasy Draft" poster and put it on the wall. They are now standing around the poster looking at it in awe and going on and on about football. Seriously???
• Everything happens for a reason. Maybe "before" happened so that I wouldn't go psycho out of my mind and feel things too fast. Because now, I'm barely moving: slowly, surely....
• I miss my Nita.
• I want to color my hair. Anyone ever tried Henna???? I need suggestions, help, tips, ANYTHING!
• I've been alive for 25 years. And in those 25 years, I've eaten plenty of McDonald's. Two weeks ago was the first time that I ever ate a Quarter Pounder. And I have yet to try a Big Mac.

Actual conversation between me and my friend a few weeks back:

me:: OK. I don't know what's wrong with me!
nita:: I don't like it when you start a sentence with "ok". It makes my heart beat fast.
me:: OK. Something isn't right.
nita:: (laughs hysterically at the fact that I continue to start the sentence with ok) What's wrong?
me:: I don't feel the butterflies and I don't feel all jittery inside. It's like I'm afraid to open up.
nita:: You can't let your past dictate your present. You're going to have to let go. Either you let go or let him go.
me:: (wining) But it's so hard! I don't want to be hurt!
nita:: You are crazy! He hasn't done anything to you. Shoot, send him my way. I'll marry him.
me:: I like him. He is sweet, caring, thoughtful... But I'm scared.
nita:: You are an idiot.
me:: I think so too.

Ben's Chili Bowl

I could really go for some right about now...

Hair Regimen

My hair regimen. First off, let me say this: I am a hair fanatic. This fascination with hair didn't start in April 08 when I went natural. This fascination began some 25 years ago in January.

Even when my hair was relaxed, I was obsessed. I would look forward to the weekends. Saturday mornings or nights were filled with shampooing, conditioning, deep conditioning, roller wrapping, and sitting under the hair dryer. I never went to a salon. I did everything myself. Well, almost everything. I would take a trip when a trim was needed.

In college, my best friend and I would wake up early on Saturdays and sit outside of Sally's until they unlocked the door. We would have a field day in there and spend the entire day in our apartment doing our hair.

So, you see, this has been a life long thing for me. Not some recent hobby that I've picked up.

But, now that I'm natural, I have to learn how to care for my hair all over again. I can't use the same products in my hair. I can't use the same tools. I got rid of every brush that I owned. I gave away all of my flat irons and curling irons. I chucked tons of hair products. Now, my bathroom looks like a kitchen.

Hair in its natural state requires a different regimen. The products that were used on my relaxed hair contain chemicals and ingredients that are harsh on hair in its natural state.

So, what have I found to work best for me?

If you can cook with eat, then more than likely, you can put it in your hair. You'll be amazed at how God provided us with everything that we need. You just have to know how to use it. Olive oil, Cocunut Oil, Vegetable Glycerine, eggs, shea butter, baking soda, banannas, aloe vera plants... I could go on and on.

Right now, I'm all about Aloe Vera Gel, H2O, and BB Moisturizer. I co-wash almost daily. My hair is curly, so I like the definition that I get when I co-wash. While I'm in the shower, I wet my hair, apply Organix Coconut Milk Conditioner and work it through. I then finger comb my hair. I let that sit for a while. And then rinse. Sometimes I do this twice. It depends on how I feel. While my hair is soaking wet, I apply the BB Moisturizer. Afterwards, I go through and apply Aloe Vera Gel to my hair in sections. I start from the back and work my way up to the front.

Depending on the look that I want, I shake my head (shake-n-go) or just let it dry with little manipulation. I like this look. The more AVG that I use, the more defined my curls are. I gotta get some pics going. I'll do that this weekend.

So far, this has been working for me. And my hair is responding quite nicely. It's growing like weeds! I need to trim it. That, however, is something that I'm not looking forward to...

BABIES!!!!!!

I don't know what it is. But I am all about babies!!! They are so precious! So cute! So innocent! And they smell good! Awwwwww!!!! Their little hands! And their little feet! And their little toes! OH!!! And their little eyes!!!!!!!!! I want one!! I wanna waddle! I want to wake up at 3 in the morning and feed my little one. I wanna take pics of my little one sleeping on his daddy's chest. (That's a classic pic and I know all of you either have one or has seen one)

But hold on there! I gotta get married first! Yes, I'm jumping the gun. This, I know. But babies!!! They are everywhere!!!!!! I just wanna nibble on their little cheeks! OH!!!!! And their little toes!!! And their little legs! Those little thighs!!!!!!!!

I'm really excited right now. If only you could hear the noises coming out of my mouth. Mind you, I'm at work too.... But everything happens in its own due time. And clearly there is no action going on around these parts. So, no babies soon. :(

Plus, I'm not in a position, financially, to take care of a child. Those things are expensive!!! I can barely take care of myself. Which is another reason why this chick right here CAN NOT and WILL NOT have any babies before I get married. That second income is going to be needed. Diapers, formula, Dr. visits, clothes- all of that is killer!

So, I'm happy just daydreaming and looking at other people's babies for now.

Weekend Update

I haven't really written anything personal on here in a minute. One, because there is nothing juicy to tell! And two, because I've become more guarded with my personal life. I have always been the one to just put everything out there. I've always been pretty open. But lately, I've found that I'm keeping my mouth shut about topics in my life.

Not everyone needs to know what goes on in your world. Not everyone has good intentions. Not everyone understands. You have to discern who you can talk to about certain things. I've found that people will take information that you share with them and judge you with it. That hurts. And people will also misinterpret situations. They can make a big deal out of nothing. You get what I'm saying?

So with that being said.....

I had a FABULOUS weekend filled with singing, laughter, praise, worship, eating, bonding, learning, gayness (Saturday's picks...), trusting, walls coming down, driving, being exhausted, and sheer enjoyment. =D
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OH!!!! But one thing that I will go into detail about is Sunday. Something erupted in me. My soul wants to do nothing but praise God. I feel the need to continually give Him thanks for ALL that he has done for me- for the things that He has kept from me- for protecting me from dangers seen and unseen- for the amazing people in my life- for my AWESOME leaders- for our anointed, life changing church- for my family- my job- the air that I breathe. Thank You!

I only want my focus to be on Him. I want no distractions. I want my relationships to be God focused and God driven. I realize that He is the source of my being. He is my life line. And that line needs to be established, embedded, and turned on in all of my relationships.

Randoms

*OMG! IT'S AUGUST!!!

* When and how did Jada Pinket Smith get so freaking dark? Thank You Lord for blessing me with beautiful brown skin. I don't have to go through any tanning or painting to get it. Hallelujah!

* Why do I have the strongest desire to hear Shorty is a 10! and I Love Your Girl? It's the music: the synth embellishments and the piano! And the way he says, "eh!" after every sentence! And the way he harmonizes! Ha! Gets me every time.

* Why am I afraid to open up? My auntie told me that I can't be afraid.

* Did you know that fear was a sin? I mean, I know that it is not of God. But I never really looked at it as sin. And fear is something that holds me back a lot. But after hearing my auntie talk to me, I can look fear dead on and say, "Get thee behind me!"

* I was right. Flashing lights.

* Explain this foolery to me. How you gonna send out an email about a "Hair Polishing" event and the photo used is a pic of a model with a cheap wig on??? Come on now....

* We just got told that we can go home at 12!!! WOOO HOO!!!!

* I woke up screaming, "HELP ME" this morning. I dreamt that these three hyena looking things were standing on my dresser looking at me. They were just staring. First, they looked mean. And then, the one in the front smiled at me. It was the biggest, most evil, joker like smile. Their faces looked like something out of that "Black Hole Sun" video. Remember that song? It was a smile that said, "We're about to attack you and have you for breakfast." The devil is a liar!

*Why is, "the devil is a liar!" a favorite among church folks? You can not study for a test, take the test, get a D- as a result and the reaction will be, "The devil is a liar!!" lol... what in the??

* Who said it was cool to wear scarves in the summer time? I dunno. But I shol' is rocking one!!

*Why can't churches up here sing "songs from the old church"? In Alabama, we're still singing those songs. I don't get it. It's like, someone has to be in the spirit, or some distinguished guest has to come to service for us to take it back. What's with that? Sometimes I feel like singing "Near the Cross." Sometimes, I wanna sing out, "Because He Lives" I can face tomorrow. Sometimes even a little "Amazing Grace" can help us out.

*If you are at least 30, and you sang in the choir when you were a youngin, I guarantee the children's choir sang, "He has done marvelous! He has done marvelous things! Praise the Lord!"

* My co-workers were talking about their family history. One dude's grandparents came in on the Mayflower. Another guy's great aunt died on the Titantic. Someone else was 1/4 italian, french, hungarian, and irish. And I'm sitting there looking stupid. I wanna know my roots. I mean, yeah, I'm black. But we all know that our family histories consist of more than just our ancestors from Africa. I mean, my father's mom looked like a white woman. I wanna know where I came from. I feel a project coming on.

*I just looked out the window and saw a cute pregnant woman. well, I hope she was pregnant. I can't wait to waddle around....