Two Different Wavelengths

How can two walk together except they agree? I love you, we have years of history. But is that enough?

http://www.mourningintojoy.com/?p=568

Click the link to go to my new site and read. Comment. Advice. LOL.

Mourning Into Joy

I'm slowly but surely moving.

I am saying goodbye to "Can I Get A Witness?" and FullComplexity.

FullComplexity is an alias that I took on as a confused, hurt, and bitter girl trying to find her way through her seemingly chaotic life. Now that I've grown (a little, lol) it's time for me to say goodbye to her. This is so hard for me though. FullComplexity and this blog are all that I've known for the past 5 years. 

I'm stepping out on some tremendous faith and doing what I feel I've been told to do. So, please, those of you who follow me, change your links and come to my new home: MourningIntoJoy.com. I will no longer be posting here. :( Ah! It hurts me to write this. Okay, maybe I will post a little while longer. lol!

But please continue to support, email, and comment.

Thank you all for your support through these years! Time to move on!

Much Love,

Tash

Mourning Into Joy

I'm slowly but surely moving.

I am saying goodbye to "Can I Get A Witness?" and FullComplexity.

FullComplexity is an alias that I took on as a confused, hurt, and bitter girl trying to find her way through her seemingly chaotic life. Now that I've grown (a little, lol) it's time for me to say goodbye to her. This is so hard for me though. FullComplexity and this blog are all that I've known for the past 5 years. 

I'm stepping out on some tremendous faith and doing what I feel I've been told to do. So, please, those of you who follow me, change your links and come to my new home: MourningIntoJoy.com. I will no longer be posting here. :( Ah! It hurts me to write this. Okay, maybe I will post a little while longer. lol!

But please continue to support, email, and comment.

Thank you all for your support through these years! Time to move on!

Much Love,

Tash

Thankful Friday

This week has been a long week for me. I am still recooperating from trying to be grown; staying out late and going to bed even later. I also managed to fight off this couging, sneezing bug that's going around. The weekend is right on time. Then again, isn't it always?

Suicide

Vision. Agnostic. Prayer

Today is a very slow day at the job. I literally have nothing to do. I'm not complaining, for once. I'm using this free time to write the vision. I've decided that this year is going to be my year. Faith is an action word. I can write all day long about the promises of God and the faith that I have. But if I'm not acting on it, those words are only words. Action is required to activate those words, which brings faith to life. Once we do that, we please God and he acts on our behalf. Hebrews 11:6 says, "but without faith it is impossible to please him."

Faith is an area that I believe we all struggle in. Trusting in something that you can not see can be hard. It's challenging enough to trust those that you see every day! I had a talk with a friend and he told me what I already know. I have faith, but I'm expecting God to "point a gun at me and shoot the blessings" into my lap. He was right.

This morning, as I was sitting at my desk, Habakkuk 2:2-3 came to mind. "Write the vision, make it plain."
I see dreams becoming a reality for people around me every day. I have the faith. Now, its time to write the vision, make it plain, pray over it, and act.
-------------------------------------
I decided to mosey on over to one of my fav blogs. Her most recent post touched me to the core. She was releasing; talking about her fears, insecurities, and burdens. She is weighed down, struggling with depression/anxiety, and is tired. It touched me because I have been there! I felt everything that she was saying. It was almost as though I was reading one of my old posts.

The comments section is closed on that particular post. She stated that she just needed to get it out. I totally understand. Sometimes, you don't want to hear "advice." There are moments when you just need to vent. Despite all of that, I wanted to reach out to her, let her know that Jesus can take all of that away. I wanted to tell her that I've been on antidepressants and nothing changed until I let God take over.

She's not a Christian. She considers herself agnostic.

So, what do I do? Sure, I could still email her my thoughts and risk getting cussed out for "pushing my views on her" or I could email her and perhaps make some leeway with her. However, I have read other posts by her and I understand her position.

I hear the voices of those who think, "why should we as Christians back down and water down what we believe? Email her!" But its not about that. I'm going to pray for her. Prayer can go where we can not go. The prayers of the righteous availeth much. When we pray, those petitions make their way to God. He can most definitely change hearts and deliver.

So, that's just what I'll do. I'll pray for her. And if the time comes for me to literally reach out via email, God will show me and give me the go ahead.

It's Sunday, which means my weekend is officially over. :(

I should be doing my hair. It is 7:27 pm. I have an idea of how I want to style my hair, but I'm not quite sure.. Indecisive is my middle name. I want to two strand twist it and keep it that way for at least a week. I usually wear my hair in a wash-n-go or a bun. But, I'm tired of doing my hair. It takes too much time in the morning- and time is not always on my side at 4:30am. So, I'll try the two strand twists. My roomie/soror/friend inspired this.

I had brunch with my roomie (really ex-roomie) but she'll always be my roomie and another friend from church. We had IHOP. Pancakes - yum! We had an awesome time reminiscing about church, church folk, drama, men, and fun times. We should really get together more often. I need to do better with keeping in touch with people.

In other news, sigh, I can't talk about it. LOL! Sometimes I wish I had kept my identity a secret. I want to write about this sooo badly! But I can't. Too many people that I know read my blog. :/ The pros and cons of blogging......

Let's just say that I had a wonderful weekend! My car is clean and now has working head lights and interior lights! LOL. However, the bad thing is that I had to fork over $200! I went to get an oil change

Thankful Friday

I am truly excited about this weekend! Saturday is going to be absolutely gorgeous and I have nothing to do! I'm going to relax. What can be better? To start the weekend off right, I want to thank God for a few things:

• I'm thankful for life, health, and strength. (I sound like folks in the old church.) But seriously, I am thankful that the Lord saw fit to wake me up this morning. The Bible says that, "it is because of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed. They are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 We take for granted the fact that God has all power and has the ability to turn off the lights at any moment. But because he is so faithful and loving, he gives us brand new mercies EVERY morning. We get a fresh start. Could you imagine doing that for the people in your life? I'm still learning how to truly forgive and walk in it. So, I couldn't imagine. But God is not like us. He's awesome!
• Answered prayer. "The prayers of the righteous availeth much." Not everything in my world is perfect. There are things that I want that have not manifested just yet. There are things that I want to do that are still being worked out. But in all of that, I thank God in advance for the things that I know are coming my way. I also thank God for answering those prayers that I had forgotten about. He has delivered me from some STUFF, he has kept my mind, he has broken down walls and allowed me to have relationships with people who at one time hardly spoke to me.
• Chastisement. "The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." Hebrews 12:6. We all do dumb stuff. Sometimes we do things not even realizing the severity of what we've done. And then there are times when we do things with the wrong intentions. No one else may see your intentions, but God does. And if you are his child, because he loves you, he will discipline you. How would we ever learn if God didn't show us our mistakes and tell us about ourselves? This morning, God straight knocked me up side the head with a scripture. It spoke directly to something that I had done. And for that I love him because I know that he only wants the best for me. So, he must bring out the best in me. :)
• Canton Jones. That Dominionaire CD is bananas!!!! OMG! I like traditional gospel music with the choirs and the powerful lead singers. But I love love love music in general. Sometimes I want to hear a hot beat or a smooth melody. And Canton Jones is God's answer to that cry! LOL! I put in his CD, turn up the volume, and ride out. I can praise God and jam all at the same time. =) Go get it.

I think that's enough for me. What are you thankful for?

Follow my blog with bloglovin

I Worship You. When I Feel Like It....

The expression on my face describes
how I felt.

"But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and annointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the Lord, and worshipped" 2 Samuel 12: 19-20

A few weeks ago, I was driving on interstate 66, on my way to work. This particular interstate has a reputation for having really bad traffic. On this particular morning, I woke up late and missed the 5:45 train that I usually take. So, to avoid the wrath of the director of the office in which I work, I decided to drive into the nearest Metro Station. (This is the subway for Virginia). During my commute to the metro station, I begin to pray and completely lost track of where I was. I totally missed my exit. This would be fine except for the fact that traffic really picks up after this exit and it is hard to turn around. So, I freaked out for a moment and then realized that I still had time to just drive to work. I would just have to pay the $14 for parking. Well, as I'm driving, I notice a sign for another metro station. I decide that instead of paying $14 for parking that I would rather still just ride the metro.

So, I get off at the exit. As soon as I took the exit, I see a police officer pointing a flashlight at me. I slowed down, perplexed, and looked at him like he was crazy. I know I wasn't speeding. What in the world is he stopping me for? I roll down my window and he tells me that I'm being pulled over for an HOV violation. I was so confused. Apparently, the ENTIRE exit was HOV only. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

It's A Process

Have these words ever come out of your mouth?

Lord, make me more like You. Or Lord, I just want to please you. Lord, take out anything that is not like you.

If you are serious about your walk with the Lord and have a heart for God, I’m pretty sure you’ve prayed that at some time or the other.

Well, guess what? The word says that the prayers of the righteous availeth much. God hears us, even when we don’t want to be heard. And He is faithful to answer prayer. So, don’t be surprised that, after seriously praying those words, all Hades breaks lose in your life!

I Hated You, But God....

Unforgiveness:

Jealousy. Anger. Bitterness. Bondage. Insecurity. Depression. Spiritual lockdown. Stagnation. Judegmentalness.

The words above are just a few results of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is the root of many issues that we have. Unforgiveness holds us in bondage. As we hold on to that situation or person that has hurt us, we also hold on to the pain. By not releasing them, we allow ourselves to remain stuck. We become stagnant. We think that we are doing ourselves good by not forgiving. We are mean, hateful, and constantly judging the ones that hurt us. But all we're really doing is blocking our own flow and building our own mental jail cell.

God, Oklahoma City, and a Cab

I'm sitting in the airport in Oklahoma city. It has been an interesting four days. I really can't say that I am ready to go home. It's not that there is so much to do here in Oklahoma; because there isn't. It's the fact that I'm away. Oklahoma city is eerily quiet. When my coworker and I were walking to the building in which our training was held, I was taken aback at the fact that I could actually hear birds. I looked up and saw a group of birds flying amongst the branches, chirping. The sky was so blue and the air smelled so fresh. It's totally different from the DC area. I would love to wake up to that every morning. It was different not hearing car horns honking, seeing people running to catch trains, smelling the burning of the metro trains as they pulled off, or having to fight to push my way through the crowd just to walk across the street. It reminded me of Alabama. Half of me was weirded out by the quietness and the other half was comfortable with it.

I will miss the serenity and friendliness of Oklahoma. Everyone, and I am not exaggerating, smiled and spoke. I didn't run into one person who didn't acknowledge my presence. People in DC think you're crazy if you're too friendly. Even the homeless (well, I'm not so sure they were homeless. But the only other word I can think of to describe them is bum. That's not nice) were friendly! One guy told us that we were "beautiful, in the name of Jesus." LOL!

I had awesome food at Toby Keith's restaurant, watched Black Swan (this movie deserves a blog post by itself. It was CRAZY!!!), and visited the memorial for the Oklahoma City Bombing. But the best part of this trip was the last day.

On my way to the airport, God spoke to me through a cab driver. He gave me direction and instructions regarding two things that I have been in prayer about. I was sitting in the back of that cab in pure awe. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was one of those things where you know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord is speaking to you. And to top it off, in order to give me confirmation that it was Him, this cab driver's daughter's name was ALMOST the exact same as mine. The only difference was our middle names. However, they both start with D. :) 

God is so awesome. He shows up when you least expect Him to and in the most unconventional ways. This is why it's important that we live. Go out and live your life. Talk to the Lord about everything and watch Him move. It's the only way. I used to believe that God would drop everything I needed into my life simply because I was a "good" Christian and went to church every other day of the week. But faith without works is dead. We can have all of the faith in the world. But how can God bless if He has nothing to work with? Would you invest in someone who sat on their butt all day only talking about what he wanted to do? Neither would I. 

Another thing that I'm learning is that God loves in spite of ______________. Fill in the blank. He loves you in spite of that mistake you made yesterday. He loves you in spite of that habit that you're trying desperately to break. He loves. He is love. The last thing I expected God to do was speak to me about my concerns. I hadn't even taken time out to talk to Him this morning. Yet in still, He loved me enough to use that opportunity to speak to me. 

I encourage you to never give up on God. It sounds cliche, but He NEVER gives up on us. He is always there, showering us with undeserved grace, mercy, blessings, and love. This path gets hard. This way of life sometimes feels impossible. But I've found that the easiest way to get through it is to simply walk. Mary Mary was on to something when they made that song. I'm walking, trusting, and believing. 

That's all we can do.

Follow my blog with bloglovin

I'm sitting in the airport in Oklahoma city. It has been an interesting four days. I really can't say that I am ready to go home. It's not that there is so much to do here in Oklahoma; because there isn't. It's the fact that I'm away. Oklahoma city is eerily quiet. When my coworker and I were walking to the building in which our training was held, I was taken aback at the fact that I could actually hear birds chirping. I looked up and say a group of birds flying amongst the branches, chirping. The sky was so blue and the air smelled so fresh. It's totally different from the DMV. I would love to wake up to that every morning. It was different not hearing car horns honking, people running to catch trains, smelling the burning of the metro trains as they pulled off, or having to fight to push my way through the crowd just to walk across the street. It reminded me of Alabama. Half of me was weirded out by the quietness and the other half was comfortable with it.

I will miss the serenity and friendliness of Oklahoma. Everyone, and I am not exaggerating smiled and spoke. I didn't run into one person who didn't acknowledge my presence. People in DC think you're crazy if you're too friendly. Even the homeless (well, I'm not so sure they were homeless. But the only other word I can think of to describe them is bumb. That's not nice) were friendly! One guy told us that we were beautiful, in the name of Jesus. LOL!

I had awesome food at Toby Keith's restaurant, watched Black Swan (this movie deserves a blog post by itself. It was CRAZY!!!), and visited the memorial for the Oklahoma City Bombing. But the best part of this trip was the last day.

On my way to the airport, God spoke to me through a cab driver. He gave me direction and instructions regarding two things that I have been in prayer about. I was sitting in the back of that cab in pure awe. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was one of those things where you know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord is speaking to you. And to top it off, in order to give me confirmation that it was Him, this cab driver's daughter's name was ALMOST the exact same as mine. The only difference was our middle names. However, They both start with D. :) 

God is so awesome. He shows up when you least expect Him too and in the most unconventional ways. This is why it's important that we live. Go out and live your life. Talk to the Lord about everything and watch Him move. It's the only way. I used to believe that God would drop everything I needed into my life simplly because I was a "good" Christian and went to church every other day of the week. But faith without works is dead. We can have all of the faith in the world. But how can God bless if He has nothing to work with? Would you invest in someone who sat on their butt all day only talking about what he wanted to do? Neither would I. 

Another thing that I'm learning is that God loves in spite of ______________. Fill in the blank. He loves you in spite of that mistake you made yesterday. He loves you in spite of that habit that 

The Prodigal Daughter... That's Me

Hello world!!

I'm back for the 347th time. Haha! As usual, I retreat when life takes twists. Because I've allowed my blog to become so visible, and my identity is no secret, I've shied away from writing about the difficulties and mistakes that I've made which could become "gossip" for some people. Nevertheless, I'm back.

During my time away, I spent a little time back in Egypt. For those of you who can decipher what exactly that means, kudos to you! To those of you who can't, just know that Egypt is the land that God brought the children of Israel out of in order to bring them to the promised land. You following me now?

The Prodigal Daughter

I'm pretty sure that you've either read or heard the story of the prodigal son. If not, I'll give you an extremely brief synopsis:

There were two sons who lived with their father. Neither one of them lacked anything at their father's house. One day, the younger son decides that he wants to go out and do his own thing. So, he gathers up all of his inheritance from his father and leaves. He goes out into the world and does real big. The Bible says that he lived wildly and squandered all of his money. When things got real and he began to hunger, he realized that he had a father who had servants with food to spare. So, he set out to go to his father with the mindset of merely being treated like a servant. That was enough for him. But when his father saw him from a far, he ran upon him, loved on him, and rejoiced that he was home. He even threw a party for him.

This story sums up the relationship that I've created with God. Just recently, I naively decided to go down a road. I say that I did it naively because I half prayed about it; and I ignored the things that were previously told to me. It's always the case. But as soon as I'm burned and realize that I left my father's house for foolishness, I come running back.

And God opens His arms so wide for me every single time. As humans, we are natually selfish. Our first inclination is to think about ourselves: how does this situation benefit me? Every single day, I put my desires, my wants, and my will before God. I broke his heart everyday. I honestly believe that it hurts the Lord when we choose to go our own way despite the warnings and commands He has given.

Imagine your own child or someone you love with all of your being. You see where they are headed. You see the potential in them. And you tell them not to go down that road. But yet and still, that loved one ignores you and continues to walk down this path that leads to pain. That is heartbreaking. And it's heartbreaking for a God who is so in love with all of us.

The beauty in God, the reason that there is no one greater, is that He has this ability to simply forgive. He forgives and then loves on you - harder than He did before you even walked away.

I experienced that this weekend.

Happy New Year!

It's a brand new year!

I haven't blogged since November of 2010. I think it's time to start writing again. :)