Continuation

To ease the pain she went to see an old flame
The incident reminded her all too well of her past
Lies, deceit, and rejection
all in her face

Feeling empty inside and no place to hide
she picked up her phone and dialed his home.
"You've reached the voicemail box of...."
Dang.

So she called a friend. In the middle of her ranting
those familiar 10 digits pop up on her phone.
Frantic.
She immediately answers.

Within two seconds, she's telling him that she wants to see him.
She turns her car around and makes her way
back to the Bridge.
It's 11:45 at night. But who cares.
The thought of being alone right now scares her.
Being left alone with all of those emotions sends chills through her body.
She makes it to his place.
They talk. They laugh. They reminisce. They kiss.
All night long.
No time for sleep.
She gets home just in time to jump in the shower and start a new day.
No one will ever know the pain she feels inside:
The war that is going on within her.
She paints on her happy face, walks out the door, and cries on the way to work.
But the tears shed will never be seen by those close to her.
They will never know the pain that she feels inside.
They will never know the burden that she hides.
They will never understand the root of her problem.
Of a girl who is crying out for help.
Who is crying out to feel loved.
Who is crying out for someone to understand
and not judge her.

There's much to do.

So she'll tuck this incident in the back of her mind,
never to be revisited again
She'll keep pushing forward and repent of her sins
Until something happens and reminds her of then.
But there wont be a next time because she is through
Tired of being hurt and mistreated
Tired of reinventing herself
Being brand new

She'll take this as a lesson learned.
"The root of the problem" a loved one once said.
So maybe now she can go on with her life
No more pretending
No more hiding

What happened in her past was no small thing
She's left to put the pieces back together
The fragments of her being that he shattered.
These fragments that find themselves reappearing in her life

She doesn't want to face the pain.
But she knows that its the only way to get over.
To heal.

Disclaimer

Today has been blah. I'm once again frustrated with my job. But of course I can't complain because all I have to do is find another one. Easier said than done. I don't want to work all the way in D.C. I want something closer. And out here, most of the decent jobs are in the D.C. area. Boo that. Maybe I'll just take my behind back to AL. Once again I'm running away from my problems. So, what's new?

I wrote a poem this morning. It's just a poem. It's embellished. It's supposed to evoke emotions and questions in you when you read it. If it does that, then I've done my job. About 99.96% of the time, the poems have something to do with me or people in my life. But I do add more to make it juicier. And sometimes they're not about me at all. Sometimes, I write based on things that I've observed but don't want to tell. Or its my take on a situation.

But please don't judge me based on my writing. :)

I'm going to go pray now.

-NR

False Start

How could a relationship conceived from betrayal
birth truth?
How can something done in the dark sustain itself
in the light?
How can blessings be poured upon a lie?

She tried to do things her way
Only to see it crumble in her face
Secret rendezvous
Smiles when no one is looking
Late night texts
All day emails

She was quick to put out
And even though sex wasn't involved
this time
The result is still the same

Quick to put out
her time
her trust
her thoughts
her heart

Now it seems that the same has been done
to her
She can't be upset
She can't be mad
You reap what you sew

This relationship conceived from betrayal
birthed a world of pain and confusion
for herself only.

Tomorrow? A Matter of Life or Death

I'm always a day late when it comes to news. And that's mostly because I'm not a big TV person. I don't go to CNN.com that much at work. And when I get off of work, I'm ripping and running until its time to go to sleep. So, I'm pretty much closed off to the world. Right now, my world is work and church. So, I happened to check one of my fav blogs: http://www.afrobella.com/
when I came across her post about George Carlin. Death is always a sad thing, no matter who it is. As I was reading her article, she mentioned that Carlin was a bit, anti-religious. He didn't really believe that there was a Heaven. So, that leads me to believe that he didn't believe in God. When I hear things like this, it saddens me.

I am a Christian. And I believe that I have new life in Jesus Christ. I believe that he died on the cross for me. And I believe that we must confess that he is Lord and believe that he did indeed die and rose from the dead on the third day. I believe that we should strive to lead a life pleasing to the Lord. No, we're not perfect. But that is where faith in God comes into play. Bottom line, without Jesus, your chances of seeing those streets of gold are slim to none.

So, the first thing I thought about was his soul. Did anyone ever witness to him? How many chances did he get throughout his life to make Jesus his Lord and Savior? Did he perhaps believe before he died? These kinds of questions run through my mind when I hear about someone dying. Sure, he was funny, famous, had some money. But in the end, none of that matters. The laughter that he received in exchange for his comedy will not get him into heaven. The money that he received from his tours and HBO specials will not get him into heaven. The mere fact that he was a nice person will not get him into heaven. We have life through Jesus. Life. That means eternal life.

I'm not saying that he is doomed to hell. I'm an outsider looking in. I don't know his relationship with God. But I do know that I don't want to go to hell. It's too hot outside right now!!! So, how in the world am I going to make it in hell????? My prayer is that anyone who happens to come across this page will actually stop and think. If I died today, would I go to heaven? Have I truly made Jesus my Lord? Am I skating along, telling myself that I'll join the church when I'm ready?

Tomorrow really might be too late.

I have Tantrum's too...

I'm feeling better now.
I had to digest some things.... And I find that when my personal life is in havoc, I have a major tude with everything. So, for the most part, I'm over it. My life is in God's hands. His will, ultimately, will be done. And that's that!

I had the best Cracker Barrel for lunch. Of course I have a pic: Mama's Pancake Breakfast. Yum!! That cheered me up. Food always does the trick. ;p

Why does Naomi Campbell keep getting off the hook for her temper tantrums? Clearly, if anyone else were in her shoes, they would be LOCKED UP by now. She assaulted TWO POLICE OFFICERS at an AIRPORT!!!! She clearly has a problem. And patting her on her hand by giving her community service hours isn't doing anything. Why are they pacifying her? I don't get it.

Oh to be rich, beautiful, and famous. Who needs morals when you're those three things? I bet on Judgement Day, she's gonna try to get into Heaven off of those characteristics too.....

Leave Me Alone

It's Friday. I'm tired. I'm spent. I'm frustrated. I don't want to talk about it.

Sometimes it makes you wanna cry aloud
Sometimes it makes you wanna scream and shout
Sometimes you feel like it's unbearable
Sometimes the pain is so incredible (Why)
Do I feel the way I feel being a Christian and all (it's not suppose to be
this way)
But who said that it was gonna be easy (nobody)
Do I have enough in me - J Moss

All I Do Is Think of You

Troop- "All I Do is Think of You"

I love love. Remember how you felt when things were brand new? Remember how you felt when you knew that this was the person that you wanted to be with? Falling asleep on the phone. Waking up on the phone. *sigh*

Life Line

My mind is going in so many different directions.
If I'm all over the place, I can't focus on You.
If I'm worried about situation A and B,
If I'm wrapped up in work,
If I'm busy emailing,
If I'm busy gossiping,
I can't focus on You.

My life is in You.
My being is in You.
My dreams are in You.
My everything is You.

So
If You are my life
and
I focus all of my energy on my surroundings
I become disconnected from You
and
I die.

Eyes Wide Shut

Our eyes are extremely deceptive
Words are venomous
Thoughts play devil's advocate
And before you know it, there is a battle going on

We become blinded by what we want to see
Our reality is merely a pretty picture that we've concocted
But the truth of the matter
The scary realization
Is that
We don't know anything

Numb

My heart hurts.
Feelings. What is the point of having them?
We aren't supposed to react off of our feeligs.
Our praise is not predicated on the way we feel.
Feelings can get you into a lot of trouble.
I watch the news and I feel.
I see a child cry and I feel.
I see a friend in pain and I feel.
I hang out with loved ones and I feel.
I see tears of joy and I feel.
I hear a song and I feel.
But why feel?
Feelings are so powerful.
Sometimes I wish I could turn off my feelings.
Sometimes I wish I didn't feel.

Here I Stand

Good Morning!!!

It's Monday and I'm so happy to be alive and breathing. I had the best weekend. Nothing too interesting happened. But it was a really peaceful weekend. Friday, the madness continued with the wig. I'll never wear that wig again. I'm leaving work. I come to a red light. This black Lexus rides by me and then all of a sudden I see it reversing. This guy stops next to me. I'm thinking that he wants to turn into McDonald's because I was blocking the entrance. He mouths something. So, I point to McDonald's. He then rolls down his window. Oh Lord.

"Has anyone told you that you look awe- awe-awesome today?"
"No, but thank you."
"Yes girl, you got it going on!"
I then smile, trying not to laugh in his face.
"And look at them pretty bright teeth!"
God, why?
"What's your name?"
"T"
"My name is Willie. But they call me Winky."
I'm disturbed at this point. And why hasn't the light turned green???
"They call me Winky cuz I wink a lot."
He then proceeds to wink both eyes, one at a time, left-right-left-right. And while he is winking like an idiot, I notice the wedding ring on his finger. Thank God, the light turns green. I roll up my window and drive off. As I said before, men never cease to amaze me.

I'm riding along in my car. I'm a sucker for good music. So, I'm flipping stations and I come across this voice. It kinda sounds like Usher, but the music has this neo-soul, Musiq soulchild, Dwele type feel to it. So, I'm listening to him sing and I am blown away because it is so beautiful! I immediately pull out my Blackberry and start typing the words to the song in my phone as he sings them. This way, I can go back and look it up later. So, I'm sitting at a red light wrecking my brain trying to figure out who this guy is. He sounds like Usher. But this is better than Usher. Who is this??? So, the song plays. I'm falling even more in love with it. My thought process is that it can't be Usher because he is all about catching AIDS in the club. And this song is about being in love with his blessing from God. It is absolutely beautiful. The music is arranged well. It just can't be Usher. The song goes off and the DJ says, "that was Usher with 'Here I Stand' off of his new album." WHAT?!? Wow. I still don't like him anymore. But I'll go and by the song off of Itunes for $.99.

Sunday was Father's Day. I don't even know why I bother buying my parents anything. They never like it. And my mom has yet to use the gift certificate that I got her to Red Door Spa & Salon. A waste of good money.... Church was great. After church, a friend had an NBA fellowship (fellowship-that's church talk) at his crib. He and his sister made the BEST baked beans, fried chicken, meat balls, mac-n-cheese, shrimp scampi, fried shrimp, dirty rice, and fish. My goodness!!! Before the game, we watched Martin and the Boondocks. Wow. I've never watched that before. That show is something else. And it was weird because, to my knowledge, we're all saved and trying to live our lives Holy and acceptable in God's eyes. But I promise you, by 10pm, the facade fell. And we all just had a good time. Nothing vulgar or nasty. But we just enjoyed each other. We were all ourselves. And it's nice to get to know the real you.

I didn't get home until a little after 1. I'm tired. But it was well worth it. And I can't wait to do it again.

Means of Escape

Men never cease to amaze me. I have natural hair. That means no relaxer. No hot comb. No flat iron. Growing out of my head is the beautiful hair that God so graciously blessed me with. And I rock it proudly. But I've been busy. Extremely busy. And I haven't had time to nurture it like i should. And it's mad. I didn't get in until 3am. And I had to get up in order to be at work at 8am. So, doing my hair was out of the question. I slapped on my trusty wig.

I decided to go to McDonald's. It's Friday. Being a few minutes late won't hurt. So, all in the name of food, I made a sudden left turn into the crowded McDonald's parking lot. The drive-thru was off the chain. Alas, I shall go in. Cool. The inside isn't crowded at all. I'm standing there waiting patiently when I feel the eyes of a man on me. I turn and see a tall, dark, ball headed beautiful thing looking at me. I automatically ignore him.

"What's wrong with you?!?" you ask? Yeah, yeah. Sure, I want Mr. Right to come along. Yes, I enjoy attention from the opposite sex. Who doesn't? But really??? I have this fake wig on top of my head. It didn't even cost me $30. It looks cheap. And any man that is attracted to that can keep on stepping. I could just tell that had I had my nappy hair out in all its glory, that he wouldn't have even noticed me. I don't want a man to like me for something I'm not. Like me for everything that I am.

So, as I'm waiting for my food, I'm looking around McDonald's planning my means of escape. I don't want to walk by this guy. Avoid him at all cost! I finally get my food. LOL! And instead of walking straight out the door that was behind him, I walked through the dining area and around just to get to the same door. There was a woman sitting there watching me like I was nuts. Maybe I am nuts.

If that was Mr. Right, which I highly doubt, we'll run into one another again. And I'll most likely be rocking my own hair. And if he still gives me googly eyes, maybe we can work something out. ;)

Summer Stock

Yesterday I was flipping through the channels when I caught the voice and face of the lovely Judy Garland. I love classic movies. I don't watch them as much as I'd like to. But when I have a free moment, I tune the world out and drift far away into MGM land.

Who can deny the music, the drama, the dancing, and the Hollywood of it all??

Well, I was watching and this guy comes on screen. He's very attractive. But wait a minute! I've seen this guy before. (Later I realized that the whole world knows who he is) The guy was Mr. Gene Kelly. You know! The singing in the rain guy! But to me, he will always be the guy in "Jack and the Beanstalk". I owned that movie when I was little. And it was one of my favorites. It was one of those cartoon movies. The beanstalk, the giant, the house- everything was a cartoon. The only thing human was Gene Kelly, the little boy, and the mom. But anywho.... I got to watching this movie...

In the movie, Judy Garland owns a farm. As a favor to her sister, she lets a group of actors use her barn as a theater for a play that they're doing. However, Judy Garland tells the Hollywood hopefuls that they have to get up at 5am to help out on the farm. Of course they don't want to. So, Gene Kelly breaks into a singing/dance number.

I was BLOWN away by his performance. I've never seen ANYTHING like it. No lie. I sat on my bed with my mouth WIDE OPEN. And at the end I said, "Wow." He was tap dancing, jumping, flipping, leaping, and sashaying all over the place. It looked like he was dancing on air. And let's not forget that he is GORGEOUS!!!!!! Wow.

They just don't make movies like they used to. Is there anyone out there who could even do what this man did??? I get dizzy just thinking about it. Rent some classic movies this weekend. I guarantee you'll love it.

I'm not my hair... Just obsessed with it

I wake up this morning exhausted. It took me forever to fall asleep last night. Not to mention that I got home late. I've been neglecting my precious napps. And they are mad. My hair felt so dry. So, I wore it pulled back in a scarf yesterday. I figured I would just wash it this morning. So, I wake up extra early to wash my hair. I realize that the cool conditioner that I had bought from Ulta was still in my car. So I dragged myself downstairs, still in my pajamas and hair bonnet, and sleepily got my conditioner out of the car.

I shampoo with Garnier Fructis (yummy) and conditioned with this Coconut based conditioner (I forgot the name)My curls sprang back but my hair still doesn't feel as up to par as I would like it. Anywho.....

I go in the bathroom to look at the back of my head and I see them! The culprits! When I flat twist my hair, there is this patch in the middle of my head that never wants to twist. And as my hair is getting longer, I see why. That part of my hair is like 3b. 3b, for you non-hair groupies, isn't as tightly coiled as the rest of my hair. It just hangs there!! Don't get me wrong, I love it. But its right in the middle of my head!

I immediately went downstairs and screamed at my mom, "I'd just like to thank you and Mr. Smith (my biological father) for this!" And I pointed to the middle of my head. My mom laughed at me and ignored me- as she usually does.

I love my hair. It is so unique. Not like anyone's hair. I can't wait until it grows out into a beautiful, lustrous, curly head full of hair.

Keep your enemies close?

"One thing I know about you is that you are who you are... no fronting for
anyone. You're just a nice, open person"

A good friend just told me that. It's nice to know that you have real people in your circle. We all have layers. But some people put on facades and you don't know what you're getting.

Floating

God loves me, despite my flaws
He sees beyond my faults and sees my needs
This type of love is hard for me to comprehend
It’s greater than any love that I’ve experienced
I looked for this love in my parents
I looked for this love in my friendships
I looked for this love in my relationships
No matter how many times I mess up
No matter how many times I refuse to pray
No matter how many times I doubt
He loves me anyway
I want to feel his presence
I want to lock myself up in my room with Bible in hand
and not come out until I feel Him
I need guidance. I need assurance. I thirst for Him
I thirst for His touch. I thirst for His joy
I thirst for his peace. I thirst for His righteousness
My lips long to drink from the cup of holiness
That maybe one sip will change me forever
Holy Spirit
Fall down on me
And never leave
Never to sin again
Never to worry again
You are Holy
You are pure
You are righteousness
You are what I need
What I long for
I can’t fight it anymore

A Little Truth About Me

I don't trust easily. It can appear that way. But deep down, I feel that people have ulterior motives. It could just be me. The sad part about it, though, is once you're on my "iffy" list- it takes a lot for me to take you off.

America the Racist

CNN has an article entitled: Behind the Scenes: Is Obama black or biracial?

Are they serious? First of all:

Why does it matter? It amazes me how people will find any way to justify to their own ignorant minds that a BLACK man may be the 44th president. The article is debating whether Barack is "mixed" or indeed "black". Clearly, Barack refers to himself as a black man. So, he is a black man. How are you going to have a debate over a grown man's identity? Who is the author of this madness???

If this were 40 years ago, Barack would be labeled as a nigger. Back then, if your great great great grandfather was black, and everyone else was white, you were black. No question about it. One drop of black equaled black. And now that a black man has a strong chance of becoming our next President of the wonderful USA, all of that is thrown out the window.

The article even went on to say that, "He may be the nation's first black president, but he would also be the nation's 44th white president." In what world??????? I just find it laughable that we actually thought there was progress in America.

To me, it has all been a cover up. We are still a bunch of niggers, just better educated now with better laws to help us out. And there are still a bunch of racist, ignorant people out there who can't accept the fact that anyone not "white" can accomplish great things.

(Please click on the underlined link above and read it.)

Addiction

Hello. My name is FullComplexity and I'm addicted... TO EVERYTHING!!!!

OK. Maybe not everything. But I have one addiction too many.

1. Kit Kat Bars. And I type this as I lick away the chocolate on my finger. It's getting out of hand. After I eat my lunch, I grab my keys, get in the car, drive 2 minutes to the gas station, and grab a king size Kit Kat Bar!!! I also grab a 1 liter size water. It makes me feel better about the whole situation. Who becomes addicted to a Kit Kat Bar? And the chocolate can not be cold and hard. Because its hot outside, I can eat my candy straight out of the wrapper. But when its cold, I sit on it. Yes, you read right. I sit on my Kit Kat Bar until the chocolate is all melty. Then, I open it and eat it. This way, I can taste the crisp wafers better. Yum!!!!!!!

2. Coffee. I love it and anything that tastes like it. I heart Coffee Lovers ice cream from Cold Stone, Jamochoa shakes from Arby's, Starbucks ice cream. I almost bought some coffee flavored lip balm off of the internet this morning. Pray for your girl.....

3. A Different World. BET has given me another reason to pay them attention. The re-runs of A Different World are running. =) I can sit in the house all day and watch the shenanigans of Whitley, DWayne, Kim, Freddie, Ron, Jaleesa, Denise and Maggie. And that's just the earlier crew. Last night I fell asleep watching back to back episodes. I couldn't help it!

I need to go on a fast from all of thee above.

And the beat goes on...

Friday night was choir rehearsal. Nothing interesting happened. We learned "The Light" by Ricky Dillard. Nice song. I always turned away from it when it came on the radio. But never the less, the song's an awesome song. After practice we went to "The Waffle House". I love that place. Breakfast food is one of my favorites: grits, eggs, bacon, waffles, yum!!!!! And don't forget the coffee. I love that stuff.

I wake up Saturday around 8:45 am. I immediately began cleaning up because I knew my girls were coming over. Plus, my room was a disaster. It's hard keeping your crib clean when you come home late every night. All I do is sleep in my house. I spend my days at work and doing ministry. Wow. I can't believe I just typed that. Last year this time, I was worried about a boy. My life semi-revolved around a selfish, egotistical male. Praise God for a new life!!! Anywho, back to Saturday...

After everyone arrived, we went to Q'dobas. It's just like Chipotle- without the chipotle. Two of us are naturals. I live in a white suburbia area. So, the four of us walk in and these two little girls of the Caucasian persuasion were gawking. It was obvious. G saw them gawking through the window before we walked in. When we finally walked through the door, they had completely turned and were just looking with these smirks on their faces. I gave them a, "is there something on my face?" look. So, we order and sit down. We are enjoying our food when the two children walk by. One of the girls looks at me, then says to her friend, "b*tch". Now, being that I am clearly at least 10 years older than them, and supposed to be letting my light shine, I should have just brushed it off. But this feeling came from the pit of my soul and "whore" escaped from my lips. WOAH! Where did that come from? I felt HORRIBLE!! Clearly I have a lot of growing to do. But I needed that to happen. We can't grow unless we make mistakes and learn from them. Retaliating was not the way to handle the situation. I acted like a child. Shame on me.

So, after we left Q'doba, we went back to the crib and watched my home videos from college. Insert musical cue: "He brought me from a mighty long way!" I cursed worse than my drunken uncle at a family cook out. I couldn't make a simple declarative sentence without $h*t or the MF word. I was so embarrassed. *sigh* We then watched "The Notebook". That movie is so awesome. I want love like "The Notebook".

Allie: "Do you think in another life, I could have been a bird?"
Noah: "What do you mean?"
Allie: "Like reincarnation."
Noah:"I don't know."
Allie: "I think I could. Caw! Caw! Say I'm a bird."
Noah: "No."
Allie: "Say I'm a bird!"
Noah: "You're a bird."
Allie: "Now say you're a bird too."
Noah: "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."

That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard!!!

After the movie, a friend put together the cutest outfit for me to wear to church. I don't know why this girl isn't in the fashion industry. In .5 seconds, she put an outfit together- using MY clothes. That's a huge feat. I've had those same clothes for years and never thought to put them together like that. She's a G.

Sunday was filled with the word, praise, and great music. We have the greatest pastors in the world. Honestly. They are so anointed and blessed. It's awesome. I ended the weekend sitting in the most disgusting place ever: China Buffet. Yuk! The buffet is over priced (which is why I didn't eat). The bathrooms are horrific. I was uncomfortable. But, spending quality time with friends made up for it.

And that's about it.

Fro on the Grow!

MY HAIR IS GROWING!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

April 20

June 6

The Fro is on the GROW!!!! =)

700 Mile Situation

I'm in a funk. And I like it.

The weather complements my mood.
The sky is completely grey and overcast. It isn't raining, but there is a steady mist falling from the sky.

I haven't felt like this in a minute. (See previous post)

I came across Res. I used to listen to this album in college, circa 2002. Res compliments my mood also. I used to go up to the studio. The two of us would play music with the lights dim and just lay there relaxing, discussing the complexities of our simple lives.

*sigh*

I'm not here. I'm there. In that permanent funk.

I'm in a funk. And I like it.

The Truth

I tossed and turned all night. I woke up this morning feeling drained.
I know this feeling. The hard part is figuring out what is causing the feeling.
The more I write, the more the truth comes to light.
I don't want to face the truth right now.
This is me signing out.
Running away.
Maybe tomorrow.

I'm Not A Racist, However

I'm sick. And I'm mad. I'm disgusted. I'm naive.

I'm sick of ignorant people. I'm mad that people even think like this. I'm disgusted at their thought process. I'm naive because I really thought that we've made progress.

Yesterday I was playing the "Not Working" game. I was on the internet reading blogs and came across this video. The little white woman was on South Beach on Memorial Day weekend. And because of the black kids who were out partying, living it up, drinking, wearing bikini's, and using foul language, she stated that Barack had lost her vote. Watch it for your self....




And then there is the fist bump. Dap. Why is everything that Obama does scrutinized? They are freaking out over a dap!!! WTH?!? They, and yes THEY as in ignorant people, find ANY reason not to vote for the black man. I can't believe I'm even writing this. But it is true. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this. I just had to get my 1 1/2 cents out.

Mysophobic

I suffer from Mysophobia. And its horrible!! Last night I was in church. And it always seems to happen in church on a Wednesday night!!!! So, I got there early. I like to be able to pick out a seat. I really wasn't thinking about the past 50 times that I've been squished and uncomfortable during Bible Study. I couldn't have been thinking because out of all of the available seats in the sanctuary, I pick a middle seat.

It never fails!! Someone either has really loud breath, a cold and is coughing all over me, gas, or a yawning problem!!! Bottom line is that I have a fear of catching germs from strangers.

Yes, I know. I'm a Christian. I'm in church to hear the Word and learn. Yeah, I know. But I still have a right to breathe easy!!!!!

So, last night I walk in running my mouth with a friend. She goes to her usual spot. I like to be up front and center. So, I choose a seat in the third row. Sigh. I get up to go and speak to another friend. I come back and find that I am sitting between two women who are slightly larger than me. Once again I'm squished. Not a problem, though. It's cool.

So, we stand up for praise and worship. And then it hits me. Someone's breath is foul!!! But, I just brush it off and continue praising the Lord. Then, someone lets one go!!!!!!!!!! I'm gagging and thinking, this CAN NOT be happening!!! Not again!

I'm wedged between two people, the air conditioner isn't working, it's hot, someone's breath stinks, the woman next to me kept yawning, and someone has gas. Can you imagine how miserable I was????

LOL!! Every time the person with the unfresh breath said something or every time the other one yawned, I fanned my fan. LOL!! I know its wrong. But I'm seriously a Mysophobic!! Cover your mouth!! Where are your manners?

And my pastor loves to tell you to turn to your neighbor and say stuff. AH!! I so wanted to just get up and sit in the back of the sanctuary. I was so glad when service was over. I just really needed a breath of fresh air. Seriously. I usually stay around and fellowship. I had to get up out of that place. I don't think I've ever gotten home from Bible Study so early. And next Wednesday, trust I will sit my little phobic tale on an end seat.

First Fam

First Family of the United States of America
=)

Cumulus Clouds

i love the rain
against my window
grey skies

cumulus clouds

the pitter pat of rain
echoing the beat
of my heart
against yours

melodies

your smile
lets me know
I'm yours
each kiss sweeter
drunk off of you

love

hazy eyed i drift
deeper and deeper
into this abyss

we are one

one beat
one breath
one voice
one fluid movement

i wake up

the sound of rain
against my window
grey skies
cumulus clouds

My sentiments exactly.