I'm a brat. I know I'm a brat because my father told me all my life. And as I got older and began to date, my boyfriends would tell me. Today, at 25, I have once again been deemed brat.
I'm spoiled.
The tricky part is figuring out where this adjective that I so greatly possess stems from. Let's take it back to the beginning:
* My mom was a single parent up until I was about 9 or 10. However, aunts, uncles, and grandparents raised me.
* Mommy wasn't rich. She worked 3 jobs (no lie) to support us. So, I didn't get everything I wanted.
* But then again, I don't remember going without. Even when the bills weren't paid and we had to get dressed in front of the stove because it was freezing in the house, I thought that was fun and adventurous!!
So, where does this bratty behavior come from?
Case in point: Last night, I got into a discussion with a beau. We had separate views on the situation. I disagreed with him and he with I. Now in the midst of the conversation, I make the comment: "We might as well stop talking about it cuz we're not going to agree."
I didn't really want to stop talking about it! I was just commenting on the fact that we were going to go back and forth all night. So what does beau do? He stops talking. What do I do? I go and curl up on the couch and get into my feelings.
Now, I will admit that I can get boisterous. But when I feel a certain way about something, I FEEL it. I don't talk much. And I don't have strong opinions about much. But when something comes up that I have my mind 100% set on, I defend it to the end. I'm passionate about it. Intense if you will. And that can come off as me getting mad or as said beau so elegantly put it, tripping.
I've always been this way. Should I change it?
(independent, prideful female steps in) No! I don't change for NO ONE!!
(reality steps in) But then again, altering it a bit wouldn't hurt, huh? I need to learn how to disagree without getting so worked up. I get it from my mother. That's why me and her used to bump heads so much. We're just alike.
How does this tie into me being a brat, you ask? See, because I am a brat and like to have my way, I got worked up because he didn't see eye to eye with me. I wasn't mad at him. I just wanted him to see that I was right! lol... And being a brat, when he tried to "break it down" to me, it made me even more strident because I felt that he wasn't listening to me at all.
Sounds like a temper tantrum.
OK. Maybe I'm reading too much into our conversation last night. I'm not as bad as it sounds. Serious. But nonetheless...
Said beau, forgive me for being so intense about the matter. And I will work on my brattitious, spoilicious, unfabulous behavior.
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