What You See.... ISN'T What You Get

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

God is such a good God. Yesterday, I was praying before Bible teaching. And I just flat out told the Lord that I wasn't sure if he would make a way for me. I know that I could be further along. I know that certain situations are the way that they are because of me. Why ask for help? I was feeling bogged down. 


I made it to Bible teaching and God did what He does best. He answered me. He spoke directly through my Bishop to me. 2010 is the year to become. To become what? It's the year to become ALL that God said I would be. It marks the year and decade that God proves Himself in me and through me. 


Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Bishop broke that down for us last night. Of course, the devil doesn't want us to have faith. We know that, "without faith it is impossible to please Him." God works via faith. So, if the enemy can kill that, then we're doomed. How does the enemy kill faith? By killing our hope. Faith is the substance of things HOPED for.
The enemy doesn't want us to have faith or hope. When we hope for a new day, hope for better living, hope for help for Haiti, hope for salvation, we are saying that we want these things. We can't see them, but we want them. Faith says that we are believing God for those things which we can not see.

But if we allow the enemy to kill our hope, there will be nothing to have faith for.

Yesterday when I went into prayer before Bible teaching, I was feeling that way. I was losing hope that the Lord could truly help me. I was losing hope that he would turn things around for me. I was listening to the enemy tell me, "Why are you praying? Why are you asking God for help? You've screwed things up! So just don't even bother to pray about it."

But thank God that He is who He is!! God immediately brought that prayer to my mind and all I could do was shout Hallelujah because in that moment I knew that this is still my year. In the natural, things are looking kinda shady. I see relationship issues. I see financial strains. I see bruised hearts. I see almost impossible goals. But spiritually, I know that my faith will take me to the place that God has already set up for me.

I will continue to pray. I will continue to have hope. I will have faith! I will work and watch God meet me. Devil you are a liar. Seriously. You are a pesky, insignificant, defeated liar.

You even threw a dart at me this morning! But its cool. I've got the victory. Guess what? I know who I am.

Walk in victory. Walk in faith. Don't live life according to what you see. Live life according to what God says. =)


Be blessed.

Just a Thought: Misery to Ministry

You know what I've noticed? You are never alone. There is always someone who is going through the same thing, if not worse. There is always someone who can relate to you. It helps to tell your testimony. Turn your trials and test into a testimony! Let your misery become your ministry.


There is a reason why we go through the things that we do. God makes it all out for your good. And when that happens, use that testimony to not only glorify God, but to help bring someone else out too. 


Be blessed.

Photo Op!!!

Triple Threat: Single, Sexy, Saved!!!!

• I have fallen in love with the Lord all over again. And it feels so good!!! "For some reason, I woke up on the right side of the bed. And You were the first thing in my head. I can't complain but I praise You instead, cuz its my day." =)

• It is 60 degrees outside. Absolutely beautiful. Thank You for this wonderful day. 

• I've got a feeling, everything is gonna be alright. ;-)
  

Crazy Weekend!

I have been looking forward to this moment for a week: Sunday evening. :-)

This week has been the busiest week ever! Actually, 2010 has been nonstop. When the clock struck 12 am on January 1st, my feet hit the ground running and I haven't looked back. I have been so busy doing ministry! I told myself last year that I was going to slow down and not do so much. I told myself that I wasn't going to run myself ragged. For the past two weeks, I have spent almost every single night at my church. No lie. I've never been this involved in ministry. It's all behind the scenes. God is doing big things for my church and He has blessed me with the opportunity to work closely with the initiative. I can honestly say that I am enjoying what I'm doing. I just finished a 12 hour day at church. Seriously. I have to be in church at 6:55 in the morning. Church was over with around 1:30. Then, I ran to McDonald's (yuck) for myself and the people that I worked with and we locked ourselves up and got busy. I didn't leave the church until 8pm.

I love it though. Working for the Lord is amazing. You lose yourself in His work. I am a firm believer in the Word," He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." I most definitely want to find it. I want the blessings that have been stored up for me. =)

Now! My crazy weekend..... I have been so delivered from the club and partying. So, I thought. Friday night I went out for my girl's birthday. To make a long story short, we ended up at this restaurant that turns into an all out club at night. We didn't realize it at the time though. Oh my goodness.... I did a little two step here and there, but I knew I wasn't supposed to be up in there. So, the night ends and we go home. Fast forward to Saturday night. I went to an office party with another one of my friends from church. I went and got me a super cute dress. My hair was on point. Feet were on point. Make-up on point. I was fly! lol...

So, we get to the hotel and it is 5-star. The place was absolutely amazing. And the view was breathtaking. It overlooked the Lincoln Memorial and all that stuff. We ate, listened to the nice jazz band cover some songs. And then, DJ Cool gets on the 1s and 2s. It was over!!! We danced. Danced. Danced. I haven't danced like that since- well- my birthday. lol! But that was in the comfort of my own home.  But, to be out and having a good time? I haven't done that in years. We had such a good time!!! When, "It's time for the perculator..." started playing, I turned to my friend and said, "get me out of here!!!"

I can dance ALL night long. I just love music and I love to move. :( Too bad it's seen as wrong from a Christian standpoint.

So, I get back to the crib and I'm chilling trying to get some work done before church in the morning. I'm typing away on my laptop and I hear this scream. It sounded like something out of a horror movie. I turned and looked towards the window. But I figured I was hearing things, so I kept it moving. About 5 minutes later, my friend comes running in my room. She's like, "did you hear that?!?!?" Then, the lady screamed again!

It sounded like someone was being murdered and was crying out for anyone to help. It scared the heeby-jeezy out of us. So, we grabbed the phone and called 911. We describe the horrific screaming that we heard to her and tell her where we live.

In less than 10 minutes, the cops arrive. About three cop cars surrounded the neighborhood. They then set out on foot to see what they could find.

Some time passes and we hear the doorbell. It's the cops! So, we scramble to put on clothes and make ourselves look decent because its 2am. We open the door to two police offers with smirks on their faces.

"Exactly what noise did you hear?"
"We heard a woman screaming at the top of her lungs."
"Were there any audible words? Was it just screaming?"
"No, there were no words. She was just screaming. Just crying out like she needed help."

The police offers look at both of us and then he says,

"We've gotten phone calls like this before. They're actually foxes."
We look at each other perplexed.
"Foxes?"
"Yes, they make high pitched screaming noises when they are mating."

So, we try to explain to them that we clearly heard a woman screaming at the top of her lungs.

The police officers assure us that it's only foxes. They then laugh at us and leave.

So, I decided to go on youtube and check it out. I typed in "foxes screaming." It sounded exactly like what we heard. Wow.

Things like this only happen to me and my friends.

Go on youtube and google it. It's crazy! I wonder why they scream like that.....

Anywho.... I don't feel like sharing anything else. I'm tired.

Be blessed!

Random Wednesday

---This morning on the way to work, I was flipping channels and stopped when I heard, "If I Was Your Girl" by Janet. You remember that song? In the video they did that dance with the arms and the funky foot work? Well, I used to run around my grandmother's house with ponytails swinging in the air singing that song. And I had no clue she was saying, "I'll make you call out my name. I'll ask who it belongs to." I used to just hum the last sentence. Hmmm.... who would've thought???

Forgive

"You know I know this man put a hurtin' on you baby, but you've got to forgive him. No matter what he done, you've got to forgive him - not for him, but for you."

"Forgive him for me? "

"When some body hurts you they take power over you, if you don't forgive them then they keep the power. Forgive him baby and after you forgive him, forgive yourself."

To Do List

It's saturday!!! WAIT! LOL! It's Monday!!!! HA!!!!

1. playing music and cleaning..... relaxing and productive =)
2. have something i need to get off my chest- blog coming today
3. pampering myself!!!!!

Be back soon!

Happy Birthday!

Thank You for another day, another year. This is a new year, a new me, a new season!

Happy Birthday to me!

Okay.. now that I've gotten that out the way....

- Ever seen Diary of a Mad Black Woman? I remember watching that with a friend about two years ago and I turned to him and said, "Why is Tyler Perry getting our hopes up? Things like this only happen in movies!!!" I was really upset because I felt like he was sewing false dreams and hopes. Well, guess what guys... I used to sing that song by Ashanti, "I wanna be like those girls in the movies, to have a man so in love it makes him drop to his knees" And now I don't know how to handle it....

- This is the weirdest feeling. So many emotions. What do you do when the door behind you has closed, the door in front of you has opened, and you're afraid to walk through it? I feel like I'm in limbo. My feet are planted. My body is facing towards 2010. My head still looks back at 2009. My hand is reaching for the open door in front of me. What an image, huh? That's the best way I know to describe how I'm feeling right now.
I just pray and ask God what's going on. What's the catch? And why this way?

-Rest in peace Teddy P!!! Your music will always be one of my favs! It's so good loving somebody when somebody loves you back!!! yeah!!!

-I want to dye my hair back brown. Is my hair gonna break off?

-I'm 27.

-I need to go and see my family. Haven't seen them in two weeks!

-My heart and prayers go out to Haiti and all those who have been affected by it. You're not alone. We support you!

Emotions

I want to cry. I want to laugh. I want to scream.
I have so many emotions going through me at the moment.
Some of them are self-inflicted. Others are natural, I guess.
It's okay to feel. It's okay to cry. It's okay to laugh.
It's okay to go on.

What makes a person think that they can treat you any kind of way and then expect a certain reaction from you? My aunt told me, "if a person has your best interests at heart, they will come correct."

ROLL TIDE

Hey Texas!!


We just beat the heck out of you. Rammer Jammer, Yellow Hammer, Give 'em heck, Alabama! 


ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!

So Many Looks Through the Years

I like this one best:

Surgery

I open my eyes and I'm laying on an operating table. The bright white from the lamp blinds me as I try to look around to see where I am. I look to my right and see a man standing in full scrub gear with knife in hand, ready to cut on me.


I immediately tense up and try to run. But something is holding me down.


"This is what you wanted, isn't it?"


Yeah, it's what I wanted. But no one told me it would hurt like this.


"I tried to protect you. I offered you plenty of anesthesia. But every time the opportunity to take it was given, you ignored it. You chose pain instead."


Tears begin to run down my face. I lay there in my puddle of tears realizing that there is no other way to go through this. I've been given plenty of chances. Now, I just have to trust.


"You're going to have pain. But the sufferings that you feel now will not be comparable to the joy that you will have when I'm done with you."


I cry even more. I cry at the fact that my purpose of rejecting the anesthesia was to keep me from this inevitable pain that I'm still going to end up experiencing. There is no need to think back. There is no sense of dwelling. What is done is done.


"Look at Me. Look forward and focus on Me......."


I look up. But things begin to become unclear.... I can't control it. The tears continue to flow. Just before I loose consciousness, I hear the words again,


"Look forward and focus on Me...."


to be continued.......

It's My Time, It's My Turn

I know its so cliche to say that God is up to something.

But seriously. He is up to something.

My Bishop has declared 2010 "The Year to Become". He has spoken some very prophetic words over us. Its up to the people to accept it and receive it. I've done all of the above and then some. It's crazy because well before the new year, I could tell that God was shifting things around. I was slowly starting to lose control.

I didn't realize how much of a control freak I am until about a year and a half ago. I like to be in control of my life. Sure, I'm easy going. I don't plan my days out. I rarely use my daily planner. But when it comes to matters of the heart or things dealing with my emotions, I like to be in control.

When I feel ANY inkling of that control being lost, I freak out. What's funny is that I want God to take over. "Take control of my life!" "Take over, Lord" "Your will be done!" But God can't have His way unless we allow Him to take control.

I have been driving this car for almost 27 years. It's hard handing over the keys, especially when you see a route that you want to take. I saw a journey that I wanted to go on. But instead of allowing God to take the wheel, I have gone around in circles- over and over again. And I'm not just talking about one area. It's been in my finances, career choices, relationships, and my spiritual life.

Deuteronomy 2:2-3: Then we turned and took our journey into the wilderness by the way of the Red sea, as the LORD spake unto me: and we compassed mount Seir many days.

And the LORD spake unto me, saying,

Ye have compassed this mountain long enough: turn you northward

I have been driving around in circles far too long. The journey to no where stops here. The never ending cycle of unhealthy relationships stops here. The halted dreams stop here. This is my year to become ALL that He has called me to be.

I mean, He said it himself:

Philippians 1:6: he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ.

I have a purpose. I have destiny. I have a calling. God did not save me from destructive relationships and a lifestyle that was spiraling out of control just to leave me. He began a good work. And like it or not, believe it or not, its going to come to fruition. This is my time. =)