Surgery

I open my eyes and I'm laying on an operating table. The bright white from the lamp blinds me as I try to look around to see where I am. I look to my right and see a man standing in full scrub gear with knife in hand, ready to cut on me.


I immediately tense up and try to run. But something is holding me down.


"This is what you wanted, isn't it?"


Yeah, it's what I wanted. But no one told me it would hurt like this.


"I tried to protect you. I offered you plenty of anesthesia. But every time the opportunity to take it was given, you ignored it. You chose pain instead."


Tears begin to run down my face. I lay there in my puddle of tears realizing that there is no other way to go through this. I've been given plenty of chances. Now, I just have to trust.


"You're going to have pain. But the sufferings that you feel now will not be comparable to the joy that you will have when I'm done with you."


I cry even more. I cry at the fact that my purpose of rejecting the anesthesia was to keep me from this inevitable pain that I'm still going to end up experiencing. There is no need to think back. There is no sense of dwelling. What is done is done.


"Look at Me. Look forward and focus on Me......."


I look up. But things begin to become unclear.... I can't control it. The tears continue to flow. Just before I loose consciousness, I hear the words again,


"Look forward and focus on Me...."


to be continued.......