50 Words

1. Beer: college- lots of crazy nights
2. Food: I've gained weight!
3. Relationships: man-o-man
4. Your CRUSH: lol!
5. Power Rangers: I was ALWAYS the yellow one
6. Life: Wanna hear God laugh? Tell Him what your plans are….
7. The President: Sexy
8. Yummy: food
9. Cars: I’d like a new one
10. Movies: I sat and watched movies non-stop today
11. Halloween: I don’t celebrate it
12. Sex: Can’t wait until I get married
13. Religion: That word causes confusion
14. Hate: is so unnecessary
15. Fear: getting over it
16. Marriage: “White Picket Dreams”
17. Blondes: white girls?
18. Slippers: I don’t have any
19. Shoes: I wanna go shopping
20. Asians: yummy food….. that is so wrong, I know.
21. Past time: watching movies
22. One night stand: STDs. Say no to sex with strangers!
23. My cell phone: doesn't ring like it used to
24. Smoke: stinks
25. Fantasy: Mariah Carey's album... that was a fav back in the day
26. College: ROLL TIDE!
27. High school life: immature
28. Pajamas: ex’s t-shirt, that I'm wearing right now. Breaking up is like a divorce. You get to keep his stuff.... lol!
29. Stars: beautiful
30. Center: God
31. Alcohol: OMG! Did my mouth just water????
32. The word love: No one loves me like Jesus does.
33. Friends: tricky, tricky
34. Money- Jesus!!!!
35. Heartache: I’m so over it
36. Time: heals all wounds
37. Divorce: It won't happen to me
38. Dogs: ugh, like having a child
39. Undies: vicky’s secrets! Sexy!
40. Parents: Jesus!
41. Babies: awww thhhhrrrrr!
42. Ex: closed chapter
43. Song: too many came to mind
44. Color: black
45. Weddings: boring
46. Pizza: yum!
47. Hangout: the bridge of wood
48. Rest: I get plenty
49. Goal: having a career that I enjoy so much that it never feels like work
50. Inspiration: is it a problem that no one really inspires me?

White Picket Dreams

So, I've had this song on repeat (via Youtube, mind you) all night. I love it. It's by Solange Knowles. I'm not a huge fan- yet, lol. I say yet because I tend to dislike the artists who end up becoming my favs. Nice song. I like the lyrics. I love the vocals. And the music itself is awesome: harmonious and melodic.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Natural New York

New York is natural?? Hmmm..... Her hair is gorgeous. I saw this on Miss Jessie's site. Who would've known?? She looks great, a lot better than that plastic looking mess that she calls a weave. Eek... that sounds harsh, huh? ;p

Random Updates

First- thanks to all who have left encouraging words on my blog. Your words truly blessed me and encouraged me. Thank you SOOO MUCH!! Muchos Besos!!!!

Now on to the randomness....

I listen to 104.1- the Gospel radio station. And I've noticed that there are A LOT of HIV commercials being aired. It's a little scary. The D.C. area has one of the highest rates of HIV and STD cases. But is it steadily on the rise in this area? These commercials are too frequent.

That's sad. :(

The next topic of randomness:

I'm officially a contributor to a magazine. A friend of mine from college started her own on-line magazine targeted towards those in college. It's all about campus life. I write for the inspirational/religion column. =) Yeah me!

I've been praying, praising, worshipping, praising, praying, and doing more worshipping than I've ever done in my life. And I like it. I've noticed that two of the things that I prayed about came around. God gave me the chance to get some things straight with a particular person. Something had been bothering me and I really wanted to clear the air. And sure enough, she walks up to me on Sunday and I had the chance to do it. Isn't God awesome? The second thing was my relationship with my mom. Hm, that one, well, I see that I still have some ugliness in me. I immediately felt bad and repented after the conversation. I wasn't mean or rude to her. But I know that my heart wasn't right- whether I displayed it or not.

That's about it for now.
Be Blessed!

Out of Town!

I'll be vacationing this weekend because I deserve it! Hehe... Have a great weekend!

Photo Op!

Young Adult Sunday at church. Aren't we fly???

Mysterious Ways

Today was a hard day. Saturday, I couldn't sleep. I've been doing that for the past three Saturday's now. It started after the organized chaos began in my life. My roommate and I spent the night at a friend's house... wait... lemme just start from the beginning.

So, Saturday morning we had Young Adult choir rehearsal because the next day was going to be Young Adult Sunday. So, I get to church and I see his (the ex's) car. I immediately felt my stomach turn. Like, I pray for him and am so glad that he is pushing to be involved. But, at the same time, my flesh rises up and I just want him to go far, far away. So, we have practice. I have other things to do at the church. So I don't get out of there until almost 4. I get home and a few hours later, I'm praying and crying about my situation.

No one really understands just what I'm going through. No one seems to understand what it's like to be bound by your own mind. What it's like to have to fight thoughts and fight to not have those thoughts consume you. No one knows what it's like to fight to pray. No one knows what it's like to struggle and cry out and ask God to fill this void and take away the desire for that physical comfort- knowing that God can give me all of that and more just by having an intimate relationship with Him. And this is the real struggle. There is more, but that's putting way too much out there. I don't even want to go there because I don't know who is reading this.

But anywho, I'm crying and praying and as soon as I finished, I thought about my friend who goes to my church. I thought, "how is she going to get to church in the morning?" This was crazy to me because how in the world do I go from crying about him to thinking about the fact that she doesn't have her car? She has plenty of other friends at the church. They can take her.

So, I text her anyways:

Me: "I just thought about something. How you gonna get to church in the morning? Isn't your car in Jersey?"
Soul Sista: "LOL yup. Jesus gotta make a wayyyyy. lol. Is he puttin it on ur heart lol"
Me: " I see! I was praying and crying about my situation and AS SOON as I was done, I thought about you! Lol! You want me to get you?"
Soul Sista: "Hallelujah! Amen God bless my chile. hehe ru ok"
Me: "Yeah, I'm okay. I was just tired of holding everything. And even though I know Jesus already knows, just spilling it all out to Him seemed like the right thing to do."
Soul Sista: "Yeah, he loves when we tlk 2him :) "

And from there, me and my roomie ended up spending the night. And I tossed and turned and didn't fall asleep until 4:45. Mind you, we have to be at church at 6:55. Needless to say, I was exhausted yesterday. I went to bed early, woke up, went back to sleep. I woke up today around 10. Got out of the bed at 12, made breakfast, ate REAL GOOD, went back to sleep. I woke up at 4. I feel a little better now.

I don't know what the point of this post was. Oh yeah! Today was a hard day. I just couldn't stop thinking about the situation. There is more to it- this is where the thoughts that I won't share come into play. It bothered me all day. Ugh. But I'm better now. I'm always better after I write.

I know we go through things for a reason. And this too shall pass. Jesus, I can't wait for it to pass. If there is a test that I keep failing, please let the test come around again so that I can ace it and move on!!!

Be blessed!

If I Could Date a Song...

It would be this one: "So Beautiful" by Musiq Soulchild. I ABSOLUTELY adore this song. I LOVE it. I listen to it and I just completely lose all senses. Like, really? This song is just.... AHHH! I can't explain it. The words. The music. The instruments. The sensuality. The love.

My roommate and I got into it just a few minutes ago about who was dating the song. LOL! I told her that I was going to do a blog post about the song that I'm dating. And she said, "I'm sorry. I'm dating it too!" LOL! And II told her that she could have the other version. I don't like the video version because it cuts out the beautiful intro and the jazzmental near the end. Yes, I made that word up. Anywho, listen to the song, close your eyes, and enjoy.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

You really can't get the real feal for the song with computer speakers because you can't hear his adlibs/breathing in the background.... AAHHHH! It makes me just melt. Like, listening to this song makes me feel better than any man has ever made me feel. That's a dang shame, huh?

Solo: Just Me and Him

So.... I'm so serious about my walk with God. I'm serious about building a for real - for real relationship with Him. I'm serious about letting Him guide me in every area of my life. After going through 8 months of unnecessary hell, I've learned my lesson. I want His stamp of approval on everything.

I figured I needed a good devotional. And I think I've found it. It forces you to actually sit, think, and listen for God. It teaches you how to do this. And that is something that I need. It's so easy for me to read a few verses and be on my merry way. But I know that doing that will get me no where in my search for God. I'll keep you updated on my progress.

Be Blessed!

Unemployed Blues? Not really

It's been a month since organized chaos arrived at my front door. Nah, actually, it crashed through my bedroom window and into my life. I call it organized because I have full trust in God and know that there is a method to the perceived madness. I'm still unemployed (sort of) and the relationship is seriously over. Yes, we ended up conversing again. But, of course, it didn't go anywhere because that's not where I'm supposed to be. I'm a hard headed little girl. But anywho.....

The job search would be easy if I knew what I wanted to do. I have so many dreams. There are lots of things that I like to do. But those things don't really pay the bills. I want to open my own salon and spa. I spoke briefly about it in my last post. And when I was employed, I applied at the Aveda Institue. OMG! I fell in love! I wanted to go soooo bad. But, the classes are full time (all day) and I couldn't quit my job. Plus, I have rent and other bills. Well, out the blue, chick from Aveda calls me. She says that there are scholarship opportunities available. I told her that I would come in and talk to her and hear what she has to say. Is that you, God?

Today, I went to the mall to turn in some applications. I applied at Victoria's Secret and at Macy's. A friend referred me to both. As I was walking in, I hear someone calling me and it's a fellow church member. She ends up taking me up stairs to apply and then shows me around and introduces me to people in different areas like I already work there! You gotta walk that thing out like it's already yours. Is that you, God?

Tomorrow, I have training at this cosmetics place in a different mall. It's nothing big. I actually just stumbled into it. I was walking around and the girl asked me if I wanted to get my face done. I said, sure. And we began talking and now I have training tomorrow.

Honestly, I don't want to go back to working some job just to make money. I want to enjoy what I'm doing and be fulfilled. So, prayerfully, something will come up... soon.

Be blessed.