I Love My Hair

So, I am totally in love with all things hair. And a dream of mine is to one day own my own Natural Salon & Spa. It will be catered to women who choose to rock their hair sans relaxer, texturizer, etc. But of course, I'm going to hold it down for my relaxed heads! I've been obsessed with the care of hair since I can remember. I used to get in trouble for being in the mirror so much. But there aren't a lot of salons out there who specialize in the care of our hair. So, that's my dream.

With that being said, It's been awhile since I posted about my hair. Thanks to being jobless, I now have the time. (Did you sense the sarcasm?)

I washed my hair last night and deep conditioned with one of my concoctions. I then rinsed that out and put Suave vanilla conditioner and Curls milkshake in my hair and left it to dry. That was okay. I was trying out Teri's routine from "Tightly Curly". The link to her spot is on the left. I didn't have time to run a comb through it because I had to go to Bible Teaching. So, I just plopped the conditioner in and hoped for the best. It was cool. My curls didn't frizz up. They did shrink though. But that is inevitable.

The pictures below are of the next day (today). I got in the shower and ran some water through it and the steam puffed up my curlies. I like it better this way. One day I'ma pick it out into a fly fro.

I colored it at the end of last summer. Big mistake! I can't wait until this color grows out. The new growth is so pretty and moisturized. But the hair that is dyed is kind of dry. Any suggestions?

This is my hair after I let it puff up in the shower. I like! =)

This was my hair before I got in the shower. I woke up this morning and put it in two ponytails. It kind of looks like a twist out, doesn't it?

Has anyone ever tried putting glycerin in their leave- in conditioner? I'm thinking about trying that for my wash-n-go's. What are your hair routines????

The Best Part of Waking Up.... is God

I looked at my blog and it just looks so blah. It's dark. It's depressing. (make-over coming) And then it doesn't help that my last few posts are all about my break-up and unemployment. Well, they're also a testimony of my faith in God during this time in my life.

But, I am FAR FROM DEPRESSED! =) As I said before, I have my sad moments. We all get weary. But the key is not giving up. Go to God. And that is what I'm learning during this time. I'm also learning how to go to God. I'm learning how to have a "for real - for real" relationship with God.

This morning, my phone rang at 7:30! I was like, who in the world is calling me, waking me out of my sweet slumber?!? It was my high school sweetheart, Ron. I quickly sent him to voicemail. LOL! He then sent me a text that said, "I'm mad you just cut the ringer off on me! LOL! U sleeping in nowadays!" Yessir! I am sleeping past 6am. Well, trying to. My body still wakes me up at 6. But anywho... I heard my room mate getting ready for work so I just woke up and rolled over and called him back. We talked for a bit. He knows what's going on. And Ron has always had a way of urking my nerves. I've known him for almost 10 years now. So, we have a deep bond- like brother and sister. Well, he was talking to me and he said some things that didn't encourage my spirit at all. And I got quiet. I just didn't want to talk to him anymore.

Ron can sense when I'm bothered. So, he does what he always does: he told me that he would call me later. When our phone conversation ended, I told God, "now I see why I need to start my day with you."

People, TV, and radio can fill your mind with all sorts of nonsense. That's why we need to develop and nurture a real relationship with God. Start your day off with Him. He will give you strength, peace, restoration, encouragement, whatever it is that you need to get through the day. And I'm seeing that I need to re-up on God throughout the day.

And get this, I turned on the TV and Creflo Dollar, Joyce Meyers, and every program after that talked about having a REAL relationship. It was God reinforcing the revelation that I had this morning.

Creflo Dollar said that we have to feed our spiritual body just like we feed our physical body. And the more I do, the more I want it.

So, get your mind right. Get your relationship with God right. It will make ALL the difference.

Closed Doors pt.2

Today is the first real day of unemployment. I received the news on Wednesday but stayed until about 11. Yesterday, I went in to work to gather my belongings. I didn’t realize how much junk I had at the office. I forgot about the pictures on the wall, the coffee mugs, vitamins, deodorant! LOL!

The reality of what’s going on in my life didn’t hit me until yesterday.
Wednesday, the president of the company that I worked for told me politely that I was being laid off. Steve, who is my immediate supervisor, wasn’t in the office. So, when I walked into work yesterday, I honestly didn’t want to speak to him or have to look at him.

I’m packing up my office and helping my co-worker prepare to take over my work when I get an email from Steve. He wants to see me in his office. I immediately think, “Uugh! What is it now?? Haven’t you people said enough??” So, I reluctantly go into his office.

When I sat down, he had the most remorseful look on his face. I thought he was going to cry. I wanted to cry just looking at him. He then began to tell me how sorry he was and how he had no control over the decision. He let me in on a few things and to my surprise, told me that I could use him as a reference and then proceeded to show me a website that I could go to- if I wanted to stick with this profession. It was a site that had links to ALL of the pension administrative/benefits companies in the US. I was in shock because its so hard to find my profession on regular job sites. So, I thanked him and went back to my office.

After that, I was going to leave. But my co-workers wanted to go out to lunch, one last time. After we got back to the office, I began to take my belonging to the car. I popped the trunk and saw the bags of things that my ex returned to me. I neglected to take them out of the trunk. I guess I just didn’t want to deal with it. So, I decided to go through the bags. I opened up one of the bags and saw the picture that he had of me up in his house. When I saw that, the pain hit.

Thursday, EVERYTHING hit me: the reality of not having a job and the reality that my relationship was over. And I sobbed all the way home.

But let me tell you how wonderful God is. He continues to let me know that none of this was an accident. He continues to show me that I am in the right place at the right time. This is something that I have to go through. I need this. I have to go through this storm. My faith in God will be stronger. My relationship with him will be stronger. I am going to be stronger.

You see, had I lost my job and still been with my ex, I would’ve leaned on my ex and not the Lord. God knows EXACTLY what He is doing. And when I think about that, I get excited. I get excited about the fact that I don’t have a job anymore. I get excited about the fact that I don’t have my ex anymore. I know that when I’m down to nothing, God is up to something. And I am so waiting and so ready to move on to the next chapter of my life.

That’s not to say that this doesn’t hurt. It hurts like crazy. I get upset. I cry. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. Sometimes I wonder what I’m going to do about bills. Sometimes I replay Monday night in my head and think about the “what-ifs”. What if I hadn’t gotten out the car like that. What if I had just talked to him. But I can’t go back. What’s done is done. And I know that it really doesn’t matter. I knew that I was not supposed to be in that relationship. I knew for a fact that I wasn’t operating in God’s will for me. And despite the constant confirmation from God, I WOULD NOT let go. Instead of doing what God wanted me to do, I did what I wanted to do.

“Oh God, maybe we will become what we want the other person to be.” But no! I am who I am and he is who he is. You can’t outdo God.

I was talking to my girlfriend last night and she told me, “Tash, I wish you would’ve ended it with him. But because you decided to stay, God used him as a tool.” I could’ve avoided all of this pain, but I wanted to be hard headed and control the situation. But because I wanted to do things my way, God said, “Ok. I tried to shield you from pain. But because you want to do things your way, I'm going to have to use him.” Through the break-up, God sliced me open and showed me all of the ugliness in me. PRIDE. SELFISHNESS. ANGER. STUBBORNNESS. CONTROLLING. And let me tell you, after I had apologized and that boy still told me he was done, that hurt my PRIDE to the core. It was all about my pride.

But God chastens the ones he loves. And through all of this, I know that God has so much more in store for me. I know that I will make it through. And I ask God to continue to show me and let me know that I am in His will. Continue to let me know that all of this is working together for my good.

Closed Doors

You know how you hear stories about the things that others are going through and you feel bad for them? But you really don't understand it until it happens to you?

Well, in the matter of 48 hours, I have lost a relationship and my job. Talk about your idea of security being taken from you.

My job laid off people and I was one of them. I was never really worried about that happening to me. Dang. And I'm too calm about it. I dunno. There is this weird peace.

I really think God is telling me that I can not depend on anyone but him. I couldn't depend on my boyfriend to love me unconditionally. I couldn't depend on my job to be the constant source for my life. Sadly, that's what I was doing.

Slowly but surely, all of my faith was in what was seen. It was in my job, my friendships, my relationship, and myself. And all of thee above have let me down.

So, now, painfully, I have to re-direct, reflect, and get back into the perfect will of God because I can't do this by myself. And I KNOW for a fact that God is a merciful God. That's why Jesus died, ya know?

On Sunday, a member of my church was sharing her story with me regarding her past and she told me to, "count it all joy." And that is what I intend to do.

The door that you slammed in my face, the feelings that you threw out the door, I count it all joy because I know that ALL things are working together for my good. And my God's will for me is joy, peace, and love. And I had NONE of those things with you. So, I count it all joy that I now know what I want and do not want in a man and can look forward to having all that I want and more in a relationship.

The door that my job politely closed in my face is a blessing in disguise. I know that God will supply ALL of my needs.

And I know that these closed doors are only set-ups to bring me closer to God. And God knows that this is a longing that I've had. He knows my heart. And He knows how to get my attention. I could be angry and upset. I could wonder why God allowed this to happen. But I know that through my heartaches and pain, I will only draw closer to you Lord. So, thank you. Because all that I need is in you.

So, I thank you for the past 48 hours. I thank you for the closed doors. And I praise your name for the unconditional love that you have for me. The love that NO MAN, not even my momma, can have for me. I love you. And I thank you.

Boom Chicka Wah Wah!!!

I LOVE THIS COMMERCIAL!!! lolol!!!!