You know how you hear stories about the things that others are going through and you feel bad for them? But you really don't understand it until it happens to you?
Well, in the matter of 48 hours, I have lost a relationship and my job. Talk about your idea of security being taken from you.
My job laid off people and I was one of them. I was never really worried about that happening to me. Dang. And I'm too calm about it. I dunno. There is this weird peace.
I really think God is telling me that I can not depend on anyone but him. I couldn't depend on my boyfriend to love me unconditionally. I couldn't depend on my job to be the constant source for my life. Sadly, that's what I was doing.
Slowly but surely, all of my faith was in what was seen. It was in my job, my friendships, my relationship, and myself. And all of thee above have let me down.
So, now, painfully, I have to re-direct, reflect, and get back into the perfect will of God because I can't do this by myself. And I KNOW for a fact that God is a merciful God. That's why Jesus died, ya know?
On Sunday, a member of my church was sharing her story with me regarding her past and she told me to, "count it all joy." And that is what I intend to do.
The door that you slammed in my face, the feelings that you threw out the door, I count it all joy because I know that ALL things are working together for my good. And my God's will for me is joy, peace, and love. And I had NONE of those things with you. So, I count it all joy that I now know what I want and do not want in a man and can look forward to having all that I want and more in a relationship.
The door that my job politely closed in my face is a blessing in disguise. I know that God will supply ALL of my needs.
And I know that these closed doors are only set-ups to bring me closer to God. And God knows that this is a longing that I've had. He knows my heart. And He knows how to get my attention. I could be angry and upset. I could wonder why God allowed this to happen. But I know that through my heartaches and pain, I will only draw closer to you Lord. So, thank you. Because all that I need is in you.
So, I thank you for the past 48 hours. I thank you for the closed doors. And I praise your name for the unconditional love that you have for me. The love that NO MAN, not even my momma, can have for me. I love you. And I thank you.
6 comments:
Hey, I'm glad you're back posting. I enjoy your blog. You have a good attitude about things. You are finding your peace in the midst of the storm. God will keep you. Many blessings.
I lost my job as well, and my boyfriend and I have been on rocky grounds b/c of it. I really want to live my dreams and I know GOD will see me through. I'm so glad I came across your blog and read this post, it was something I really needed b/c I was beginning to doubt my abilities. Many blessings to you and keep that positive attitude.
God will see you through. Everytime I get down I read your blog and get a lift in my spirit.
During my time of no work, I have gone back to grad school, completed writing a novel, and refocused on what I really want in life.
Just trust in no matter what. He will supply all of your needs.
Closed doors mean new opportunities to embrace. You will be fine; you are blessed no matter what is going on around you. You are the apple of God's eye and because of that, He will never let you stand alone. You will have the kind of relationship God intends and you will be blessed with another career pathway that will accentuate your gifts, talents, and abilities. That's God's plan for you. Keep your head up so you can see those new beginnings coming your way.
@ Krystal (aka Pirouette): Thank you so much! That means a lot to me.
@ Anonymous : We really don't realize how our testimonies and the things that we go through are able to minister to someone else. I'm glad you came across my page too! =) God's gonna see you through. Just don't give up!
@ Talulazoeapple: Thanks love! You're an inspiration to me!! Thanks for reassuring me that this closed door is just that, a closed door- and perhaps its time for me to do something bigger in my life.
@ Myowne: =) Big Smiles! Thank you so much! Im so ready to embrace whatever it is that God wants to do in me, with me, for me, and around me.
What a blessing to discover your blog. As someone who was recently laid off, I can second that instant peace that came over me. Well after the shock.
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