I was at work today talking to Ms. Donna. I love that woman! She is the trillest Itallian I know! Anywho... We were talking about this woman who is married to an IDIOT. They've been married for 15 years, went to high school together... and for the past couple of years he's been acting out. Donna said that her husband sees the idiot coming in in the morning when he is leaving for work! The man is obviously cheating on her. They have 2 kids. But she will not do anything about it. And I was like, 'well- its her fault.' Not that she deserves that. But a man- or a woman for that matter- is gonna do what you let them do.
We then got into a conversation about how we both have been idiots and let a man run all over us. She dated a guy who dumped her over and over again and also got a woman pregnant while they were together. She said he was a DOG, but she was in love with him. I then told her my story. And in the end, the only reason we were hurt was because we allowed the crap to happen.
Me and Toni were talking about this one day. Every woman is allowed to have 1 stupid moment in her life. And by this, I mean you are completely oblivious to the obvious. You allow a man who probably doesn't want you for real to run all over you. He uses you for his own gain; whether it be sexual, financial, as a trophy, or just to feed his own psychotic ego. We've all done it. But one time is enough!
After I told Donna an extremely abbreviated version of my story, she asked me if I had learned anything from it. And I did. I learned a lot. I already knew this, but it really reinforced it. You have to go through things in life. If you don't, you'll never learn and you'll never grow. If I had it to do all over again, I would have never gone onto the balcony of the apartment below me. But since I can't go back in time, I'll use that experience to my advantage- and NEVER allow myself to allow my mind to get caught up like that again.
So, don't fret over things of the past. Whats done is done. I bet you're a lot smarter and a whole lot wiser because of it. And It used to kill me to know that he was merely a stepping stone in my life. He was my learning experience. I didn't want him to be my learning experience. I wanted him to be the one. I always thought that after I broke up with my first 'real' guy, that I would never love like that again. Then I met my second and forgot all about the first one! lol!!! The third time is a charm. He HAS to be FANTASTIC! LORD PLEASE!!! lol.... I don't want ANYMORE learning experiences in the love department.....
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