The latest craze these days seems to be black women embracing their own hair. We're ditching the relaxers, blow dryers, and pressing combs for afros, twist outs, and wash n gos. All of that is great. It's spectacular! But I have a huge problem.
We're going natural and still not embracing our own self.
What's the point of "going natural" if all you're going to do is obsess over trying to get something that you don't have? If your hair isn't curly, chances are, it's not going to ever be. If you hair isn't thick and doesn't give you that big chunky fro look, chances are, it will never be.
I'm all for styling. Sometimes you do want more curl definition- meaning that you want to rock your hair this way for a style. But becoming obsessed with getting your hair to curl urks the crap out of me.
I have a tight nit circle of friends at my church and all of us are either natural or transitioning. It's a beautiful thing. But lately, I've found that there is this obsession with having curly hair. And I really want to yell: "YOUR HAIR IS NOT CURLY!!" Wetting your hair and then putting all of this product on it just to give yourself the allusion that its curly is pretty pitiful to me.
To me, that tells me that 1. you don't like what you have, 2. you think there is something wrong with hair that doesn't turn into beautiful ringlets when its wet and dries, and 3. you are going around selling false hopes to all of the other people that you give advice to.
I just feel that if you have to go through this long hoop-la process to get your hair to hold a curl, then it wasn't meant to do it. So rock what you got and keep it moving.
One of my friends doesn't have curly hair. She has beautiful soft, almost cotton like hair with little curl definition. But the other friend who is curl obsessed keeps feeding her these stories about what products will "bring out the curl". NO! How about you tell her how to keep the hair that she has healthy so that she can grow out her own beautiful hair just the way that it is.
I walked up to another female in the church who was natural and asked her what she had done differently to her hair. She said, "My mom put a texturizer in it last night." Of course I asked her why and she replied, "I wanted to loosen my curl."
I was engaged in another conversation and I AGAIN heard, "I want to loosen my texture."
Now, don't get me wrong. Do you. If you aren't happy with what you got, then by all means, do you. But that doesn't mean that I agree with it. And I don't.
Even in our "natural" state, we still can not accept ourselves for who we are.
When will the cycle end?
4 comments:
i understand your sentiments exactly.
perhaps alot of women who are going natural don't have any ways to style their hair that doesn't include curls?
and since they are going natural as the new "in" thing anyway, they aren't doing it for self-acceptance, they're still doing it because everyone else is. that is a trend in itself...and they have to follow everyone else. so the "curl" phenomenon doesn't surprise me.
i will admit, i don't see too many women around here going natural (no matter what race they are--everyone has hair dyes and texturizers, perms and relaxers, weaves, etc. in their hair), but i am pretty sure when everyone does begin to (if they do), they will all go the same route with the same style pretty much.
Can't accept the outer without accepting that within. ;)
I am with you on that. I was researching products for natural hair and most claim to 'stretch'or 'define' the curl pattern.
I think the 'media' tauts natural girls who have 'mixed' girl hair, so people go natural thinking they are gonna have tracee ellis ross's hair.
I hated these products. I ended up going back to my homemade oil mixtures. My goal is to keep my hair soft and supple so that it stays strong and won't break.
Very good topic and I agree that this had to be said. To add my 2 cents, curls come in many shapes and sizes, just because I don't have curls like Tracee Ellis doesn't mean that I don't have curls. I don't like the word nappy, naps, etc. Matter of fact, I really don't like the word kinks. These are all words to further separate or justify our beauty (which doesn't need justification). So I don't see any wrong in us proclaiming we have curls, because we do. Most everyone have some type of curl pattern, it may not look like yours or mines or Tracee's for that matter, but it's theirs-and it's curls.
However, I do think many women go into the natural state with this grand illusion that they will have big curly Kelis hair. That will never happen unless the hair is naturally predisposed to do so. However, I don't see anything wrong with trying to define the curl pattern that you naturally have as long as you accept your curls for what they are-your curls.
I can say so much on this topic. Maybe on another day, but thanks for bringing this to surface.
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