Go Through...Fall

We all go through.

We all have situations that hit us and knock us completely off track. Sometimes these problems arrive out of the blue. Sometimes we create the situation. I'm in a situation. I'm in a season. I get frustrated. I feel hopeless at times. Sometimes I get angry. Sometimes I feel alone. But every time I try to complain or cry, I'm reminded to look up.

Today is October 1st.

This year is just about over with. Where did it go??? 2008 was declared "The Year of New Beginnings". Last New Year's Eve, my Pastor talked about all of the wonderful things that would happen in 2008 and how we were going to step into a new beginning. I just knew my new beginning was going to be a husband, maybe a new job, and some money!

Lol! But 2008 didn't quite go that way.

Instead, I found myself becoming more and more involved in God's Kingdom. I've never gone to church this much in my life! Between Sunday school, church services and ministry, all of my free time is spent at my church. I've even moved closer to the church and further away from my job. That sounds backwards, huh?

But you know what? It makes perfect sense. My life, my entire being is in the Lord. I am nothing without Christ. He is the reason that I have a job. He is the reason that I have a car. He is the reason that I'm able to formulate these thoughts and share them with you. Jesus is the reason. And the least I could do is worship Him and help grow His Kingdom.

I'm single. I don't have a family to tend to. My focus and yours as well should be God's work. Right now, Jesus is my boo. Lol! And when He sees fit to join me with my hubby, He'll do it.

I was becoming weary of the whole "New Beginning". Lord, when I am going to get mine? But you see, I have it. I've become closer to God than I've ever been. I'm still not where He wants me to be. But I'm no where near where I used to be. My life is in God and I finally realize it. Through my situation, I am learning to depend on Him more than I depended on my own parents. My faith is growing. My praise and worship is becoming real. I'm becoming stronger in Him.

Yes, I complain sometimes. At times I feel tired. But this is all for Him. And I know that I will be blessed because of it. God has me. Blessed assurance.

In high school, we did this exercise that was supposed to build our trust in one another. There would be two people. One person was to turn his back to his partner. He was then supposed to cross his hands over his chest, close his eyes, and fall. This was the hardest thing for us to do. Even though we knew our partner was back there waiting to catch us, we were still hesitant to just let go and fall.

That's how we are with God. God has the whole world in His hands. If His eye is on a tiny sparrow, you can be sure that His eye is on you. All we have to do is let it all go, trust God, and fall. But we're afraid. We doubt. Well, what if I let go and this happens? What about my bills? What about rent? How will I eat? But I don't know how to....

NO!

Fall. Let it all go and fall. God's cushion of love, grace, and mercy will catch you and hold you so tight. You'll wonder why it took you so long to trust Him.

Today I declare that I'm walking running deeper into this new beginning. I'm going to run until I run smack into God. I will close my eyes, turn my back to this world and fall.