7.10.2006
I Love to laugh!!!! I can stay on YouTube for hours laughing at stuff. It feels so good to laugh. Ok.. Just felt like sharing that...When the "one" comes along, he and I will both know. He will have no doubts about me. There will be no reason to choose between me and another woman. I never want to end up with a man who is torn between two women or who is entertaining more than one woman and then "chooses" one. I'll be his one and his only. There will be no reason for me to have to ask any questions about his character or the way he lives his life. We will both know. And in that knowing, we will accept one another, full of flaws. I will be 'perfectly flawed' to him and he to I. Some recent observing of other people's situations really had me thinking about this. 1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us what love is. I want that. There will be no doubt in my mind that he is the one. He will not put me aside until he is ready. He will not give up on us. He will be in it for the long haul because he loves me and believes in our love. I'm in no rush to find "him." I'm chillin right now- enjoying Tash. But best believe when he comes along, I will know!
Having a blog is one of the best things I could've done. I like being able to go back to a particular time in my life with the click of a mouse. And it is so interesting that I wrote that EXACTLY two years ago. For the most part, I feel the same way. But I know that life doesn't work out the way we want it to. He probably isn't going to look at me and just instantly know. I know that our thoughts are not God's thoughts. Our ways are not His ways. And all too often we lean unto our own understanding. Sometimes we want things to just automatically happen. We want to be able to wave our magic wands and "poof!" the end is here. But, as Pastor Deborah so eloquently put it, we must go through a process.
I take every situation that I'm in as a learning experience. God shows me things about myself in these experiences. And from them, I gain wisdom and understanding. I look back at my life thus far, and most of my experiences involve relationships. What is God trying to get me ready for? And its not just rinky-dink puppy love. It's hard core, raw, junk. I've seen people go off of the deep end. I almost went off the deep end. Even now, I feel like God is dealing with me regarding the relationships that I have with people. And I know its God. He gave me confirmation last night at Bible Teaching. But I understand that I have to go through these experiences to get to where God needs me to be. I'm going to be a blessing to someone else because of them. One by one, they're making me wiser.
At the present moment, I feel like I'm in a situation that is forcing me to open up. It's forcing me to open my mouth and simply speak. It's forcing me to have confidence in the things that I say- not just the things that I write. Its forcing me to stop and take a look at me. Three years ago, I would've looked at it from a selfish/simple point of view- maybe he is going to be my man! But no. Help comes in all shapes, sizes, forms, and gender. Perhaps its as simple as me helping him grow in an area and vice versa.
I need to get some work done.... So I digress....
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